Second Friend Day - Elmer Towns

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CHAPTER THREE CHRISTIANS HELP THEIR FRIENDS Usually, we do not form a friendship to help the other person. Friends take one another for what they are, and usually will not try to improve their buddies. That is what makes friendship so great. There is no pressure to improve, and there are no strings attached. However, in every relationship there comes a time when a good friend must help his buddy. We can anonymously send them a package of roll-on deodorant rather than talk about perspiration or we can offer them a breath mint. But suppose they do not take the hint? Following are suggestions on how to help your friends. 1. Be an example of what you expect. You teach your friends what you know, and you reproduce in their life what you are. If we are role models for our friends, we may be able to help them in their Christian walk. Paul was a role model to young Timothy and to those in the new churches that he planted. He told them, "Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ" (I Corinthians 11:1 and Phillipians 3:17). Paul's life exemplified commitment to the cause of Christ despite persecution (2 Corinthians 11:22- 33; 12:10), refusal to become entangled with the attractions of this present world, contentment with such things as he had (Phillipians 4:11; II Timothy 2:3-4), and holiness (abstaining from evil and fleeing from even any appearance of it (I Thessalonians 5:22; II Timothy 2:22)). A good friend will also exemplify considerateness. He will take into consideration what his friend knows, feels, and wants. Proverbs 27:14 warns about not considering the feelings of others when it says, "He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him." Before we enthusiastically begin our own program, we must consider where our friend is, and act accordingly, lest our well-intended actions fall at such an inappropriate time that they are taken for curses. For our instruction, Matthew 7:12 counsels, 'Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets." A good friend will also demonstrate a deep commitment and an abiding loyalty. They will stand by their friend in good times and bad. Jonathan was such a friend to David, remaining his friend despite his father's displeasure at their friend,hip. And Barnabas was such a friend to Paul (Acts 11:25-26). When the other apostles avoided Paul, Barnabas sought him out and spent a year working with him. 2. Encourage and motivate them. The best way to help a friend is to "stretch their dreams" of what they can do and what they can become. We may have to motivate them. When we let them know how they must improve, and then give them methods, we have helped them. We should treat our friends like winners, putting a "10" on their foreheads. This simply means that we look at them as though they have the potential to be the best. Too often we look at people and size them up with a low number. When we do that, they respond according to our assessment. When we put a " 10" on our friends' foreheads and think the best of them, they will usually try harder just to please us. There are four steps to motivating our friends. First, we must appreciate them. Second, we must anticipate what they can do. Third, we must recognize their
accomplishments and be quick to point out their past track record, for it is an indicator of what they can accomplish in the future. Finally, the fourth step, we must accept them as they are, even though we are trying to correct them. 3. Let them talk about their problem. When we are trying to help a friend, the best thing we can do is let them talk. When they ventilate their feelings by telling us their problem, we have three things on the table. First, we know what they are thinking. Second, we know what they are feeling. Third, we know what they want. Because we love them, we listen to them. We do not interrupt, nor do we act as the "pseudo" counselor, trying to use questions to get to the problem. And we do not analyze their problem because we know our analysis is not needed. Why do we let them talk? First, because if they do not get their problem out in the open, it will color the rest of their perspective. Our friend will continue to look at life through the problem (making them a pessimist) rather than looking at life through their potential (which is being an optimist). Secondly, we let them talk because if they do not see their problem, they will not be able to deal with the real issue. Too many times problems keep us on the periphery, and we deal with peripheral issues rather than the real issue involved. The final reason we let them talk is because problems become barriers to good mental health. They create negative feelings, bitterness, and frustration. Our friend needs to see their problem through our eyes. Finally, we let them talk because it helps them face their problem, and when they do they gain the confidence needed to search for an answer. 4. Give them wise counsel. This is touchy. How do we tell a friend that he is wrong, that he has to improve, or that he should change his plan of action? We should not counsel our friends on some problems. We should overlook minor things that do not have long-range implications. However, at other times we must face our friends with an issue. Honesty demands that we tell the truth; love demands that we tell it carefully. Telling the truth carefully is like a mother putting a little sugar in the bad medicine of life. We should only tell our friend what they can handle. Sometimes they cannot handle all of the truth, so we should not dump on them. When we give them more truth than they can handle, rather than helping them up, we have given them a hernia. A doctor knows that medicine will help, but he will only give so much at a time. Ten treatments of chemotherapy may be needed to deal with cancer, but no doctor would give ten treatments in one day. Timing is also important when we try to correct a friend. The following principles will help. First of all, are they receptive? Giving good advice to a friend who will not receive it is like pouring castor oil over the head of a child. Second, we should correct our friend when they are optimistic, not depressed. When they are down, they do not need more bad news. Third, we should give them correction when they are willing to do something about their problem, not when they are rebellious. Fourth and finally, we should give them correction when they ask for it. If they never ask for it, we need never give it.
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Elmer Towns Larry Gilbert Contribut
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Lesson 3 - Andrew Brings Peter to J
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OVERVIEW OF SECOND FRIEND DAY The S
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� Complete the planning with the
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� Hand out “Who Are My Friends?
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� Post all members’ “Yes” c
Page 13 and 14: serve a continental breakfast of Da
Page 15 and 16: � Members who did not attend the
Page 17 and 18: LETTER OF COMMITMENT TO BE SIGNED B
Page 19 and 20: TEACHER’S LETTER TO A CHILD OR TE
Page 21 and 22: STAIRSTEPPING YOUR FRIENDS TO CHRIS
Page 23 and 24: RIGHT ATTITUDES FOR STAIRSTEPPING Y
Page 25 and 26: EFFECTIVE STAIRSTEPPING METHODS 1.
Page 27 and 28: HOW TO INVITE YOUR FRIENDS TO CHURC
Page 29 and 30: LESSON 2 - A FRIEND PROTECTS YOU Le
Page 31 and 32: 3:9). LESSON 4 - CORNELIUS BRINGS H
Page 33 and 34: HOW TO USE THE SERMON OUTLINES The
Page 35 and 36: SERMON THREE Christians Help Their
Page 37 and 38: SERMON FIVE What It Means To Have J
Page 39 and 40: A. HOW TO USE THE APPENDIXES As we
Page 41 and 42: � New Life Presbyterian Church in
Page 43 and 44: OOPS! The phone is ringing now. It'
Page 47 and 48: Coloring Book for use with the chil
Page 50: A FRIEND PROTECTS YOU Write True or
Page 54: CORNELIUS BRINGS HIS FAMILY AND FRI
Page 58 and 59: CONTENTS CHAPTER 1 WHY CHRISTIANS S
Page 60 and 61: was a lonely man. He put his priori
Page 62 and 63: GOD'S FRIENDSHIP God's friendship i
Page 66 and 67: CHAPTER FOUR FRIENDS WHO HELP US Fo
Page 68 and 69: who helps us with our singing techn
Page 70 and 71: CHAPTER FIVE WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE
Page 72 and 73: Are we weak and heavy laden, cumber
Page 74 and 75: PREFACE People like fresh things .
Page 76 and 77: In college, my friends and I became
Page 78 and 79: Chapter 1 ACCEPTING THE SAVIOUR Dur
Page 80 and 81: (Rom. 6:23). Because you have sinne
Page 82 and 83: A young man was dealing for the fir
Page 84 and 85: God's will. However, after you rece
Page 86 and 87: Love of the brethren is a proof of
Page 88 and 89: The will of God cannot be forced on
Page 90 and 91: f. The principle of adaptability (I
Page 92 and 93: Reference Bible when she could repe
Page 94 and 95: Begin your study by reading a passa
Page 96 and 97: Chapter 5 GETTING ANSWERS TO PRAYER
Page 98 and 99: does not mean to hang onto God. Whe
Page 100 and 101: After salvation, a boy immediately
Page 102 and 103: Chapter 6 USING YOUR SPIRITUAL GIFT
Page 104 and 105: Faithfulness in a small capacity le
Page 106 and 107: Chapter 7 DEALING WITH SIN After yo
Page 108 and 109: 5. You must not defile your body. S
Page 110 and 111: espect for him. The following rule
Page 112 and 113: sinner." The Scofield Reference Bib
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First, God reminded Elijah of His p
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Sometimes resisting the devil means
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1. The Holy Spirit indwells every b
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are going so poorly that God has fo
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Chapter 10 BECOMING FAITHFUL One of
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Faithfulness is doing what needs to
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There were many dusty bushes in the
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enemies. On the cross He uttered, "
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There were two thieves on the cross
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advancement. But those who are lock
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"My Sunday School teacher said Jesu
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Second Friend Day - Elmer Towns

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