Gammer Gurton's Needle - Faculty & Staff Web Pages

THE PROLOGUE
As Gammer Gurton with many a wide stitch
Sat piecing and patching of Hodge her man's breech,
By chance, or misfortune, as she her gear tossed,
In Hodge's leather breeches her needle she lost.
When Diccon the Bedlam had heard by report
That good Gammer Gurton was robbed in this sort,
He quietly persuaded with her in that stound 1
Dame Chat, her dear gossip, 2 this needle had found.
Yet she knew no more of this matter, alas,
Than knows Tom, our clerk, what the priest says at Mass! 3
Hereof there ensued so fearful a fray
Mas[ter] Doctor was sent for, these gossips to stay
Because he was Curate, and esteemed full wise;
Who found what he sought not, by Diccon's device! 4
When all things were tumbled and clean out of fashion, 5
Whether it were by fortune or some other constellation,
Suddenly the needle Hodge found by the pricking,
And drew it out of his buttock, where he felt it sticking.
Their hearts then at rest with perfect security,
With a pot of good ale they stoke up their plaudity. 6
1 Stound: time
2 Gossip: friend
3 Obviously an inside joke at the expense of Tom, who evidently snoozes through Mass.
4 That is, "who found something he wasn't expecting to find because of Diccon's trick."
5 Out of fashion: disordered, chaotic
6 Stoke up their plaudity: win their applause
Gammer Gurton's Needle 3