Gammer Gurton's Needle - Faculty & Staff Web Pages

THE FOURTH ACT
The First Scene
Gammer Gurton's Needle 38
[Doctor Rat enters, walking up to Gammer’s house
and complaining to himself]
D. Rat: A man were better 1 twenty times be a bandog 2 and bark,
Than here among such a sort 3 be parish priest
Where he shall never be at rest one pissing-while a day 4
But he must trudge about the town this way and that way,
Here to a drab, there to a thief, his shoes to tear and rent, 5
And that which is worst of all, at every knave’s commandment. 6
I had not sat the space to drink two pots of ale,
But Gammer Gurton’s sorry boy was straightway at my tail,
And she was sick, and I must come, to do I wot 7 not what;
If once her finger’s end but ache, trudge, call for Doctor Rat!
And when I come not at thy call, I only thereby lose, 8
For I am sure to lack therefore a tithe-pig or a goose. 9
I warrant you when the truth is known and told they have their tale,
The matter which about I com 10e is not worth a halfpenny worth of ale;
Yet must I talk so sage 11 and smooth, as though I were a glosier, 12
Else or the year come at an end, I shall be sure the loser! 13
[Gammer Gurton enters from her house and stands in
the doorway]
What work ye, Gammer Gurton? 14 Ho! Here is your friend Doctor Rat!
Gammer: Sooth, 15 ‘Cha troubled, ‘Cha troubled you, ‘Chwot well that. 16
D. Rat: How do ye, woman? Be ye lusty 17 or be ye not well at ease?
1 A man were better: It would be [twenty times] better for a man…
2 Bandog: a heavily-built mastiff-like breed of dog, used as a guard or watchdog
3 Such a sort: such people as these
4 One pissing-while: long enough to take a leak
5 Rent: wear out
6 Here to . . . commandment: Going here to counsel a prostitute, there to counsel a thief, and what’s worst of all, he must
follow every rascal’s orders.
7 Wot: know
8 I only thereby lose: I lose money [by refusing to go to them]
9 Tithe-pig or a goose: Poor people could not pay money to the church as tithes; they instead gave livestock to the priest
11
Sage: wisely
12
Glossier: flatterer
13
Else or…loser!: Otherwise, at the end of the year I will surely lose out [because Gammer wouldn’t give him a Christmas
gift of a pig or goose]
14
What work ye: How do you do?
15
Sooth: Truly
16
‘Cha troubled…that: I’ve caused you some trouble, I know that very well.
17
Lusty: in good health