The Laughable Stories Collected by Mar Gregory John

PROFITABLE SAYINGS AND LEGENDS OF PHYSICIANS. 85
CCCLI. Another story. When the physicians of the
Greek kings became sick the kings did not support
them any longer.
CCCLII. [Another] story. When the Arab kings
were about to employ a physician and wished to try
[his skill], they were wont to bring to him a certain
table and to order him to compound therefrom a food
which would strengthen the bodies of [their] warriors,
and a food which would heal the sick, and a food
which would bring sickness and death upon the enemy;
if he were able to do [these things] they then em-
ployed him.
CCCLIII. [Another] story. When a certain man came
to a physician to enquire of him concerning an attack
of colic which had come upon him, the physician said
to him, "Eat a few thorns." And the man brought out
ink and paper to write upon and said to the physician, i^
"What dost thou advise?" And the physician said unto
him, "Eat a few thorns, together with a bushel of bar-
"ley." And the man said, "Thou saidst nothing at all
"about barley at first," and the physician replied to
him, "No, I did not, for I did not know until this mo-
"ment that thou wert an ass."
CCCLI V. Dixit quidam scurrae urbano, "Matris meae
"gula assidue aliquid colligit: flagratque et constricta
"est." Respondit autem scurra, "Si venter uxoris tuae
"ad matris gulam similitudine accederet, multum pro-
"ficeres."
CCCLV. A certain actor said unto a jesting physician, ^
"The colic hath got hold of the ends of my hair, and
"my belly is becoming black." The physician said to
him, "Shave thy head and thy beard and thou wilt
"never again have colic in the ends of thy hair; and