The Laughable Stories Collected by Mar Gregory John

LAUGHABLE STORIES OF ACTORS AND COMEDIANS. I 39
food on to his garments, and the nobleman said to the
servants, ''Wash the meat off his garments for him."
The actor said, "Thy meat doth not need to be
**washed off," that is to say, "there is no grease in it."
DXXVIIL Another actor had a wife whose face was very
ugly, and one rainy and gloomy day she said to him, it
"How can one use such a day as this advantageously?"
He said to her, "In divorce and separation."
DXXIX. Unto another actor it was said, "Is wheat
"flour very dear in the market to-day?" And he//
replied, "I never asked, for I only buy baked bread."
DXXX. When another actor saw a man who had
sore eyes, he said, "With what dost thou treat the disease
"in thine eyes?" And he replied, "With the singing
"of Psalms and with the prayers of my mother who is
"a nun." The actor made answer, "These are very
"excellent things indeed, but a little antimony is needed
"with them."
DXXXI. Another actor said, "For six kinds of men
"it is not good to drink wine: for him who when sing-
"ing is a fool; for him who reclineth at meat on his
"right side; for him who eateth green herbs overmuch;
"for him who drinketh of the first cup; for him who
"rejoiceth in suppers; and for him who is in the habit
"of defiling his garment."
DXXXI. Another actor was sick, and when his
master, who was a very foolish man, went out he asked
him, *'What wouldst thou that I should do for thee?"
he replied, "I very much want thee not to come into
"my presence again."
S2