The Laughable Stories Collected by Mar Gregory John

STORIES OF MISERS.
CCCCXXIX. A poet said unto a certain avaricious
man, "Why dost thou never bid me to a feast with
"thee?" He replied to him, "Because thou eatest very
"heartily indeed, besides thou swallowest so hurriedly;
"and whilst thou art still eating one morsel thou art
"getting reldy for the next." The poet said to him,
"What wouldst thou have then? Wouldst thou have
"me whilst I am eating one morsel to stand up and bow
"the knee, and then take another?"
CCCCXXX. While a certain miserly man was eating
bread with his wife a man came to visit them, and
they said unto him, "Command [us]." And he said
unto them, "I am quite undone," that is to say, "I am
"exhausted." And when the miser heard these words
he said to his wife, "Doth he mean to say *I have
"had my meal^,' that is to say, *I have eaten,' but doth
"not know [how to speak] after the manner of books?
"Let us not press him, then, lest he lay in food upon
"food, and he suffer pain and blame us for urging
"him [to eat]."
CCCCXXXI. Whilst a certain miser was eating figs
a man came to visit him, and immediately he saw him
^ The pun is, of course, on the words »ii\x.r