The Laughable Stories Collected by Mar Gregory John

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150 THE LAUGHABLE STORIES OF BAR-HEBR^US.
*'by God that for a whole year from now I will have
''nothing more to do with thee."
DXCIII. Another simpleton, having looked at a mirror
and seen his face therein, laughed, and being asked [why
((he did so] said, "I am astonished at m.y face, for
"it is beautiful [when seen] afar oif, but when near it
"is not."
DXCIV. Another silly man was asked, "How many
"years old art thou?" He replied, "I know not, but
"I have heard my mother say that I was born before
"the grapes were ripe, 'and', said she, 'thy brother is
"older than thou by two months and half a year.'"
DXCV. Another fool owned a house together with
some other folk, and he said one day, "I want to sell
"the half of it which is my share and buy the other
"half, so that the whole building may be mine."
DXCVI. Another silly man bought a piece of meat
and gave it to his servant, saying, "Take this home
"and tell them to boil it for me with some rice." The
servant said, "They have no wood there," and the man
said, "Very well, then, let them boil for me pearl-barley
"and rice in equal parts."
DXCVII. Another simpleton, whose daughter had
fallen into a well, said to her, "Do not move from
"where thou art until I bring some one to draw thee up."
DXCVIII. Another silly man having been asked about
his birthday, said, "I was born on Hosanna Sunday,
"two weeks after the Feast of the Resurrection."
DXCIX. Another stupid man said during his prayers,
"O Lord, my God, pardon my mother, my sister, and
^^ "my wife." And when he was asked, "Why dost thou
"not mention thy father.-^" he replied, "Because I was
"a child when he died, and I did not know him."