Eating Disorders - fieldi

13
Recovery
margaret goldkopf-woodtke
For a long moment I stood before my own image, coming to knowledge
of myself. Suddenly I saw all I was supposed to be but was not—
taller, more ethereal, more refined, less hungry, not so powerful,
much less emotional, more subdued, not such a big talker; a more
generous, loving, considerate, nurturant person; less selfish, less
ambitious, and far less given to seeking pleasure for myself.
Now, however, all this came into question: Who, I wondered,
had made up this ideal for women? Who had imposed it, and why
hadn’t I seen through it before? Why, for that matter, did I imagine
a slender body would bring me these attainments, even if I decided
I actually wanted them for myself? And why, finally, wasn’t I free
simply to throw off this whole coercive system of expectation and be
myself—eating, lusting, laughing, talking, taking?
—The Obsession, Kim Chernin
I was asked to write this paper from the position of both a professional
and a recovered anorexic. I am frequently asked about recovery,
both by my patients and those close to me, those who witnessed
the transformation that took place in my own life as a result of the
recovery process.
I had promised myself that were I truly to recover from anorexia
nervosa, I would someday communicate to others who also suffer
from eating disorders the “how” of recovery. I had imagined a stepby-step
approach that would somehow end the terrible obsession.