issue #02 pdf - Razorcake

mean, what do you want to do when you're
out? In your mind, picture this ideal where
you can travel, right? You're gonna want to
fuck around. I'm gonna want to fuck around,
so I do. But Janaynay, she definitely put the
tail on the donkey.
Sean: Can I ask you about some other
things you've said?
Dave: All right.
Sean: Can you explain the lyric "situated
alcohol fetal"? What does that mean?
Dave: Which one?
Sean: "Situated alcohol fetal."
Dave: What song is that?
Sean: I don't know the title. It's off "Tired
of You."
Dave: Situated alcohol fetal? (Pause) Oh,
yeah, that's off of (sings the guitar intro)
yeah. Hopefully, by the time this comes to
press, you'll have dug up the name of the
first song on side two of "Tired of You"
("Spitting Quarters"). I wrote that
song about how certain girls have
major crushes on ugly guys. Like
Supergrass. You know how
Supergrass kind of look like their
eyes are too low, like apes? But
I've heard a couple of girls like,
"Oh my god, they're so hot." Stuff
like that. Guys who look like fetal
alcohol syndrome victims, and
they're hot to some girls. Do you
know what I mean? They look like
in-bred people. They look like
they've been kicked in the face, but
they're "hot." They've got that mystique.
Janaynay actually wrote a
whole fucking article about how
she went on a date with this guy
who sucked and bummed her out,
but then, at the very last minute, he
stuck some quarters between his
teeth. And then, she's just like,
"You rule." You know what I
mean?
There's something about girls
like that who see past the whole, I
don't know. They're like, "I like
Leonardo DiCaprio." They see that
really weird looking motherfucker
and think he's totally hot. That's
what that's all about.
Sean: Wow. I didn't think it meant
anything.
Dave: Surprise, surprise.
Sean: Is it true that the Motards (a
mid-nineties garage rock band from
Austin) helped you get signed to
Empty?
Dave: Sure. Yeah, them and the
Drags. We knew them and the
Drags, who were from
Albuquerque. They were definitely
our two best friends of bands.
Absolutely.
Sean: What's the last riff you stole from the
Motards?
Dave: Nothing on the new stuff, but definitely
on "Tired of You." You're gonna have
to figure that out yourself, but
42
it's definitely there.
Sean: What's the last riff the Weird
Lovemakers (a really cool band from
Tucson who, incidentally, deny ever stealing
a riff from Scared of Chaka) stole from
you?
Dave: Oh, those bastards. That's a good
question. I don't know, but god bless them. I
love them.
Sean: So you guys just finished recording
another album. Is it on Hopeless or Sub
City?
Dave: Hopeless.
Sean: How long did you take to record it?
Dave: About five days. On and off.
Altogether five days. During the recording
process, we experienced an earthquake - a
seven point whatever. They had a riot, a
Mardi Gras riot where someone got kicked
in the head until he died in Pioneer Square.
All this shit happened during the time we
I feel very lucky and honored
that someone called me the
Julio Iglesius of punk rock. You
bastard. You total bastard.
were recording. Ron got his car stolen. Our
drummer got his car stolen. Right outside
the studio. We finished everything. We're
walking out. The sun's coming up - because
we were doing it all night - and everything's
cool. We're shaking hands, talking, then
Ron says, "Dude, where's my car." What the
fuck, man, you know where your car is. But
it was gone. He got it back a week later. It
stunk like piss and shit, but he got it back a
week later. He's got it here.
We had a horrible, horrible amount of
crazy tragedies befall us during the recording.
I was moving to Seattle. I live in Seattle
right now. And the building that I just
moved into, back even before we started
recording, I came back, and there were
cracks all over it and now there's a question
of whether or not I'm even gonna be able to
live in it. It's hard. It's weird. But I'm just
saying, you know, the new record sounds
fucking awesome. And we had the craziest
week recording it. It better sound awesome.
But seriously, it's amazing. (Pause) I don't
know what it was. I mean, the car theft. And
it wasn't even in a bad area.
Sean: Nice car?
Dave: No. It wasn't even a
good car. It's a fucking
Subaru hatchback. And all
the belts squeal when you
turn it on. And of course, the
one time you need to hear it,
we're locked in a soundproof
booth. Some guy's out there
with the belts squealing for
ten minutes and we have
headphones on. And the
fucking car's getting stolen.
Ain't that a bitch?
But the car got returned
and the record sounds awesome.
I love that record. It's
great. I mean, it's not coming
out until the end of June. So,
you know… It's under a half
an hour, fourteen songs.
We've got a handful of slowish,
indie-pop songs, but then
we've got a lot that just rock.
Sean: Are you gonna take
credit for the earthquake,
saying your recording of the
album caused it?
Dave: Yes, we're gonna take
credit for the earthquake.
That was a crazy time. Very
crazy. It was my first earthquake.
Me and Ron were
staying the night at this
friend of ours' house. It was
like ten in the morning. I was
dozing in and out of consciousness,
watching Ron. I
was on the couch and Ron
was on a sleeping bag on the
floor, flipping through digital
cable. Then, all of the sudden,
Chris Dickens, a friend
of ours who lived there, is
like, "Wake up. Get out of my house." He
grabbed the couch and started rocking it
back and forth, and I'm like, "Yeah, that's
real funny. Quit doing that."
Todd: Didn't it last for, like, forty-five seconds?