STEPS - Library - Central Queensland University

Refusal of the Call
Part Two: The STEPS philosophy
From the moment I received the application form, I began to make excuses
to validate my not going ahead with the program. I was filled with doubts
about my own abilities. I thought that I was deluding myself to think that
someone like me could even attempt a program at a university. I was too
old, too busy, too dumb, and had too many responsibilities. My list was
endless. The day of the entrance exam, I sat in my car in the car park
thinking how much easier it would be just to turn around and go home.
Why did I want to give myself more stress after all I had been through in
my life? That was the day I would justify going home, back to my safe little
haven.
Meeting with the Mentor
From the moment I met Karen, with all her enthusiasm and supportive and
encouraging words, I started to believe that I could do the program. If she
could have confidence in me, then perhaps I should too. From the
beginning, and all through the challenges and problems that made me want
to just give up, Karen helped me to keep going. She made me feel
worthwhile.
Crossing the First Threshold
Perhaps one of the first challenges I faced, apart from just going through
the door on that first day, was to be in a group of total strangers, and to be
expected to form some kind of bond with them. Although it appears to
others that I am an outgoing person who finds it easy to mix, this is really
far from the truth. At the time, to have to be part of a group of strangers and
to have to see them frequently seemed like a huge ordeal to me.
Tests, Allies and Enemies
Looking back, it seems amazing that I found it hard to be part of my STEPS
group. Throughout the program, we all gradually became good friends,
giving support, encouragement and help to each other. Sometimes, it
seemed that old friends, who I had expected to give me the most help, failed
to be supportive. It also seemed as if many of the friends I had had for years
would have liked it better if I quit. (Sometimes I would have liked it better
too). It was often the most unlikely people who were my strongest allies.
My children, who I had thought would resent the fact that I was no longer
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