A Cellarful of Nose - Future Shoes

Roosevelt's. Wood was about to be named chief of staff of the
U.S. Army in 1909, when he began to experience paralysis in his
left leg and seizures. Cushing was terrified of going inside the
head of a national hero, and was relieved when the surgery was
postponed. "Glad the operation has been postponed,” Cushing
said. “For everyone dies that I touch."
Eventually, Cushing removed a huge meningioma from
Wood's brain. Eleven days after surgery, the general, who had lost
all feeling on one side, was up and walking again. It was a red
letter day for practical brain surgery. But it was a terrible struggle
for Cushing. Was he God, to take upon himself such a task?
Neurosurgeons take so much upon themselves, all the doubts
and self-accusations, and then they summon the strength to go in
again anyway.
There was a lesson in there for people like me and the kind of
guilty feelings I was having. Maybe guilt is just the price of
admission for being alive and cutting the flawed deals we have to
cut. Maybe it is just the table stakes for sitting down to play.
I had the opportunity to visit another brain surgeon, for a
second opinion. Everyone I spoke to recommended and praised
him for his personality and technique. I was “happy” with my
current surgeon, Dr. Gregory, but I saw no harm in obtaining a
second opinion.
Let me call him Dr. Rajib. He was a handsome, charismatic
man, equal parts Ricardo Montalban, and Rutger Hauer – heroic,
international, borderline mystical.
153