A Cellarful of Nose - Future Shoes

y February we were in love, with only one problem to overcome:
Rachel was allergic to animal hair, and my apartment -- my entire
life -- was full of it.
One night Çasi went out the back door, as she always did,
and I awoke to feel her standing beside the bed, trying to jump up.
She couldn't. I sat up and felt her. She was trembling terribly, her
heart going a hundred beats a minute. I picked her up, and held
her in my arms, as frightened as she was. In a few short minutes
her heart stopped beating, and she was still in my arms.
Oh, how I cried in the middle of that night. I cried and cried,
for Çasi, who was a good dog, and a good friend. And for myself,
who would never be loved again like that. I put her down on the
braid rug she used as her napping place and played my nylon
string guitar for her, as I had done many times, just repeating the
same three descending chords, over and over again, tears rolling
down my cheeks.
When I was done, I called the animal patrol, and they agreed
to get her in the morning. I placed her on the front porch, and
went to sleep. She froze overnight. When the pickup van arrived
in the morning. I slid her stiff body onto the steel floor, and
watched as the van turned the corner and disappeared.
I have had sadder things happen to me. But I never felt
sadder. I tried to go to work, but I kept breaking down, and I
biked home before lunch. It took me a week before my voice
cleared, and I could confidently finish a sentence. I wasn't unsure
of myself, as I had been when I first got Çasi and her brothers. I
was just in pain from losing her.
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