Aries June 2014

summer, winter and fall, every season
from now until global warming takes
us all.
But at what cost? Is it friends
and family be damned? Is it all the
plans and gatherings meant for you
and your friends and family are left
by the wayside while you moon and
swoon over your new lady or beau?
Is it always going to be that you’ve
forgotten, misplaced the plans outside
of the immediate and desperate desire
to be nearer, just a tiny bit nearer to
everything and anything having to do
with the candy draped on your bent
arm? And if it comes down to it, if you
have to choose, what do you do? How
does the decision between beau and
bro bring about a tie-breaker in this
dog-eat-dog world of friendship versus
lovers?
Your man-candy wants to see a
movie. He chooses the newest, romantic
chick-flick and you agree without a
second thought, without so much as a
bat of the eyelashes, except immediately
after you’ve given your consent you
remember that your bestie bought you
two tickets for the midnight showing.
How do we reconcile? Do we lie in
wait as your bestie dresses in her best
imitation of the heroine, fluffs, curls,
trims and primps. Do we hide? Do we
come forward or do we come up with
another solution?
Do we suggest a threesome?
Do we hint at the amount of missed
opportunities we’ve had in which the
two could have bonded like Elmer’s
and palms and insist that the time is
now? That the time is long overdue?
That we cannot believe it has taken
this long in the first place. Do we haggle,
finagle and smooth talk our way
out of the tough spot we cannot believe
we were foolish enough to drop ourselves
into?
Is this a solution or a greater
problem? Does your friend bite, take
the bait and jump at the opportunity
to finally be a part of your life once
more, or do they see right through your
sneaky, little scheme? Will they feel
like you’re including them, or is this
a pity invite? Will they feel like one
of the crew, or a third wheel? Do they
excite at the prospect of meeting this
infamous stranger, or does their enthusiasm
deflate as they realize, with cold,
deadly certainty, that you have once
again forgotten that the two of you had
plans long before this perfect stranger
came into your life?
And what about the second
scenario? The one that didn’t really
occur to us? The one that would have
us break plans with that certain someone
to honor our promise to our bestie?
Do we give up those warm, fuzzy,
90 minutes of cuddling in the dark,
fluorescent glow of the neon exit sign,
setting the stage for the promise of a
later night than an hour and a half beneath
the silver screen could ever hope
to endure?
Do we risk upsetting our beau?
Making him feel as though he is not
your top priority, that he or she is
second best, second thought, not your
number one?
Do we promise one or the other
that we’ll make it up to them next
time?
Where is the solution? Where
do we draw the line at integration over
integrity? Is there a balance to be had
at all? Or could it be that we simply
need to make time for both, together
and separately? And what if it isn’t
always about you? What if the neglect
can become something smothering on
the opposite end? Does your beau not
need a night out with their best buddies?
Does your bestie not need some
time to themselves and their friends
as well? Is it possible that sometimes,
just sometimes, you might just need to
spend some time by yourself as well?
The fact of the matter is,
you need to find that elusive middle
ground, the infallible balance of the
justice scales. When we make plans
with the bestie, we need to honor those
plans, we need to set aside that time
33 ARIES / JUNE 2014