Aries June 2014

your guide to the male brain
By: Allister Dean
HOW
TO HAVE
THE
“What
Are
We?”
Talk
One minute you two
are lovey-dovey in
the street and acting
like a total couple.
The next, he’s giving signs
that you may not be as
exclusive as you though.
It’s hard to bring up, but
you need to set the record
straight because guys can
get weird about commitment.
“When it seems like
time to define your couple
status, men often freak
out and wonder if there’s
someone better or if they
want to give up their carefree
single-guy role,” explains
relationship expert
Harlan Cohen, author of
Getting Naked. You deserve
to know if your guy’s
going to waste your time.
here’s you three step plan.
Hey, Guys!
WHAT’S THE BIGGEST SECRET YOU’VE
KEPT FROM YOUR BOYFRIENDS?
These secrets are bad enough—but what’s worse
is the twisted logic guys use to “justify” them.
Brace yourselves, guys!
JUNE 2014 / ARIES 84
1Choose
The Right
Time
Unfortunately, there
isn’t a magic formula
that determines when
you should have the
talk. But generally
speaking, it’s go
time when you have
your first “You’re
killing me Smalls”
moment—you get the
sense that you two
may not be on the
same page, and the
where-are-we suspense
is nagging at
you so freaking badly
that it’s all you can
think about.
2Choose
The Right
Place
Bring it up during an
active moment like when
you’re walking in the
park or making dinner
together—that way, the
question isn’t the center
of the universe, which
eases the intensity. FYI,
fancy dinners out are a
terrible idea—the formality
adds pressure, and if
the talk doesn’t go well,
you’ll both want to leave,
but you’ll still have to
deal with the blll. Pillow
talk also isn’t ideal. If he
says he doens’t want to be
your BF, you’ll feel extra
vulnerable since you’re
naked and just did intimate
things—so it’s best
to do it fully clothed.
“I save cute guys in
my phone under girls’
names. So if my BF
sees our texts he thinks
it’s a gal pal.”
—Tom M., 22
3Choose
The Right
Words
The key is to stick with
an open-ended phrases
that give him a chance
to share his thoughts
without forcing him to
answer. Say, “I’m dating
only you right now,
and I want to know
if we’re in the same
place,”o r“My cousin’s
wedding is soon, and
people will ask what we
are...I’d like to know
what to say.” If he says
he’s down to commit,
sweet—Grandma will
be tickled pink to meet
your BF. If he gets all
“Uh, I don’t know....,”
then move on, and wear
your sharpest suit to
that wedding.
“When we met, I was
actually trying to hit on
his friend, but I never
told him so he wouldn’
get mad.”
—Damien G., 28