Aries June 2014

Let’s be honest
here....we love
the feeling that
we get when you
are in a new relationship
and
want to keep
that. Over time
things become
routine and less
fun. We have
why!
You Flirt With
More Randoms
Even though my guy makes me
feel like the most handsome man in
the world, I still can’t turn off the
flirt-dar. “I want through a phase
right after our fisrt year, when I flirt
shamelessly with guys when I went
out with my friends,” says Gary 28.,
who’s been with his guy for almost
five years. “It feels good to know
that you are still desired.” When your
guy (and there is even something
dumpy sounding about that title to
some), there is this fear that you will
lose that somethin’ somethin’ that
makes men turn their heads, so you
may even go into flirt overdrive, “it
is always nice to be reacted to as a
guy,” says Pepper Schwartz, PhD,
coauthor of The Normal Bar, “As
long as it is only a little flirting there
is no harm done.”
You Think About
Breakup
“This is effed up!”,says Max, 29.
“But in those early months, if my
guy really pissed me off, I though,
JUNE 2014 / ARIES 94
I’ll just break up with him!” You
might even dream about what life
would have been like with an ex—
with time, even your douchiest
former boyfriend can take on a Ryan
Gosling-like glow. But—scouts honor—thinking
about a breakup won’t
doom you to it. “Even happy couples
have considered a breakup,” says
Schwartz. “Being in a relationship
is hard work, but a lot of men have
a fairy-tale view on it. It’s normal
especially in the beginning to doubt
that this is the right person when
your fantasy doesn’t align with the
reality.” When your boyfriend does
sometihng annoying, you have to fix
it or you feel like you are stuck with
it forever. That’s helps getting past
the big bumps in the road.
Your Skinny
Jeans Get Tight
A loving relationship has a direct
correlation to love handles. A recent
survey by Southern Methodist
University shows that the happier the
union, the more likely it is that you
will gain weight. Not only that, but
so many men go on crazy diets to
just to get back to where they were
when they first met. “I was in shape
to begin with, but I lost around 15
pounds for my 1 year anniversary,
Aaron, 30, “Over the course of the
year following, I returned back to
the weight I was and the jeans that I
wore on our first date fit once again.
You Are Not
Attached
At The Hip
I was out of college, I envisioned
marriage like so: coming home every
night to snuggle and eat a homemade
quinoa salad with fancy silverware.
The only part of that fantasy that
became reality was the fancy silverware.
“I was also surprised that my
boyfriend and I didn’t send more
alone time together,” agrees Angelo,
25, and have been together for
3 years. “I thought we had become
homebodies, but I was still playing
the intramural soccer on weeknights
and still wanting to party with our
friends on the weekends.” Turns out,
this is a sign of a healthy relationship.
“If you are feeling validated
by your partner and you know that
person loves you and is committed
to you, you are going to do your own
thing and not feel paranoid about
spending time apart,” says marriage
therapist Eris Huemer, PsyD. And
research shows that couples who
maintain their independence tend to
be happier in the long run.
Sex Gets Better...
File this one under pleasant surprises.
“People tend to think of relationship
sex as routine, but it gets better,
not worse,” says Marco. “There is a
new depth to your relationship, and
the sense that you are really going
through life together makes you feel
connected during sex. That makes
everything so much more intense.
... But Less
Frequent
The flip side is that the promise of
forever also means that the chase is
ovah. Also, running a household is a
lot of unsexy work. There is a learning
curve when it comes to being in
a relationship with a guy you run a
household with to the guy you get
naked with. “I keep tabs on how
often we have sex and try to have
it,” says George., 23. Smart, because
regular sex will keep strong. “It’s all
about keeping each other less unhappy
and more in sync.”