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P’NJAAB AIRWAYS
Morning, Ladies and Gen’lemen. P’rajee aur Behnjee.
Sasri Akal.
On behalf of Captaan Balbir Singh ‘Bobby’ this is your Flight Supervisor Banta Singh “Bunty”
welcoming to you on the P’njaab Airways flight no 9211(Nau Do Gyaraah) to Ludhiana.
We apalogize for the two day delay in taking off, because the sun was not shining brightly in the
fog. And we know the sun does not shine in the night. Landing in Ludhiana is not definite, but with good
luck we can be landing directly in your V’llage. P Airways has excellent record for safety. In fact our
safety standards are so high that even the fully trained tarrists and hijackers are afraid to fly with us. I
am pleased to enounce that starting this year over 90% of our passengers’ have reached to their
destination. For the rest 10% the P’njaab airways staff has lots of experience for consoling the next of
kin. Our hostess Bubbly Kaur will be happy to brief you on our out of court settlement policies. If
engines are too noisy, on P’ssaingers requests, we can turn them off for comfort, but your flight will
became late and you may become the late. Also for our religious P’ssaingers, we are the only airline
who can help you to contact god at once. In case of sudden loss of cabin pressure, holy books will be
quickly distributed. We regret that today’s in flight movie will not be shown as we could not record it
from the tally vision due to power cot. But we will be flying right next to air India, where their movie can
be seen from the right side cabin windows. These windows have been opened for your viewing
convenience. For Passengers on left side, we have put binoculars under the seat.
If Air India flight is again cancelled, then for your in flight Ent’tainment. Bubbly Kaur & Cuckoo Kaur
will do the Bhangra with flight, stewards Pappu and Tappu.Oye, Balle Balle.
Your in flight Menu has a choice of Chicken Tikka Masala, Tandoori Fish, Dal Makhani, unlimited
P’ronthas and Lassi. There is a half charge for red label whiskey served from black label bottles.
Patiala pegs will be served only on Patiala flights. As per safety rules, smoking is not allowed on all
P’njaab airways flights over P’njaab. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system
on the engines. Please do read the structions on the safety card in seat pocket in your backside. Life
jackets are placed under your seats for emergency water landings on any of our 5 rivers. Do not use
life jackets on the land. Kindly keep your seat in upright position for take off & landing. Also do not use
force. Broken seats will not be replaced and you will be tied to the floor during take off and landing.
Please be seated first and then fasten your seatbelts. Do not call for steward or airhostess for a
glass of water when plane is taking off. We are about to take-off. We wish you a pleasant flight. For air
sickness problems we have echo friendly jute bags in the seat packets.
Thanks you once again for flying with P’njaab Airways
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- Compiled by Harnek Singh (West)