September 2008 - The Parklander Magazine

SENIOR CONCERNS
My House or Yours
By Carol Rakoff, R.N.
I figure that by the time I’m 104, I’ll be ready to move into an
independent living facility.That is, if my kids haven’t committed me
sooner. It’s funny, but it’s so easy for me, as a healthcare provider, to
recommend this type of living arrangement to my patients, but I
personally feel that I will be resistant to ever giving up my home and
my independence.
I have a 72-year-old gentleman patient who just lost his wife and
now lives alone. He is not physically fit and appears to be much
older. When I last visited his home, he answered the door with a
plate of nine cookies on it. He said he had made pasta for dinner, but
I really doubted it. He can no longer drive due to poor vision, and is
resistant to getting help. I strongly recommended to him that he
investigate an independent living facility that also has assisted living
beds. I told him it would be like renting an apartment in an adult
hotel. He would have a dining room to go to for meals (no more
cookie dinners), and I told him I knew of a place where the dining
room is open all day long and he could get a meal at any time! He
could bring some of his furniture, pictures, mementos, and anything
else that would fit into the rooms and not be a safety hazard. There
are planned activities, day trips, and social opportunities. No one
should have to sit in their home and be alone all day.
I also have a friend who is an active, energetic woman, still
volunteering in the community and contributing her knowledge.
She lives in an independent/assisted living facility with her husband
and is very content with the arrangement. I see her out around town
at meetings all the time. She travels to see her grandchildren and
attends family functions. She is truly “renting an apartment” in a
facility with services.
I always tell my patients or friends to choose a facility that it is
closest to a family member, friend or family doctor. Of course that
makes it easier for one of them (not the doctor), to visit when you
are under the weather. If that is not a necessity for you, then you
have many options. First impressions count. Is the facility
aesthetically appealing to you I remember when I lived in New
York City; we judged an apartment building by its snob appeal,
i.e., the furnishings in the lobby. That can be a very important
element for some people. But you do need to feel good every time
you go home. Other important things to consider: do you know
anyone there; does it pass the “sniff test”; have you heard
anything (positive or negative), from friends, physicians, and
neighbors Go back a few times and at different times of the day.
Sit in the lobby and observe “the action”. Is the staff friendly Do
they smile and say hello when passing you Also, try to speak to as
many residents and visitors as possible. Maybe ask to sample a
meal. Try more than one to be safe.
Take your time and look around at different communities. Discuss
all the possible living conditions available in your community. Don’t
be so fast to run back up north. Remember—you’ll still have to deal
with the ice, snow, and freezing cold. Besides, we’re just coming into
hurricane season and you certainly don’t want to miss all the fun.
130 SEPTEMBER 2008