New Classic Poems – Contemporary Verse That Rhymes

New Classic Poems
Just For Fun
The day that Art turned twenty-eight, with some boys from the bank,
they went out to a pub for lunch. Three jugs of beer they drank.
Some beans were placed in front of him. He never had a chance.
The smell too much, he wolfed them down. His gut began its dance.
Within an hour of back to work, a smell reeked through the place.
The like of which took breath away, its source they could not trace.
By three the bank had closed its doors, the staff not feeling well.
They were sent home, the fire hall called to source the pungent smell.
Though Art knew well whence came the smell, the truth he would forsake.
Though guilty, he would not admit; his repute was at stake.
His stomach spoke as he walked out, a rumbling of ripe gas.
He knew, though, that within two hours this flatulence would pass.
As Art had left for work that morn, his wife had been precise,
"Do not come home till five P.M. Your dinner's a surprise."
So he set out the long way home. A two-hour walk he'd take.
By then he should be over the results of his mistake.
All the way home he spread good will. No one walked close behind.
By five, when he at last arrived, his farting had declined.
His wife met him at their front door with blindfold he must wear.
She led him in, and sat him down upon dining room chair.
Something smelled good. He knew it well, the scent of fresh baked beans.
Had his wife, for his birthday, cooked the soul food of his dreams
She moved to pull the blindfold off. The phone rang in the hall.
She made him promise not to peek while she answered the call.
As he sat there sniffing the air, he felt his stomach churn.
He felt a big one coming on, and had no-where to turn.
He shifted, moved up on one cheek, and let go a great RRIIIPPPP.
It cut the air. The smell was bad. His nose began to drip.
He had to dissipate the stink. He waved his arms around.
This movement brought the urge again, and one more loud, rude sound.
He stood and flailed his arms around. He had to clear the air.
He heard his wife hang up the phone, so sat back in his chair.
"And now for something special, dear. I hope you’ll be surprised."
"I’ve made you suffer long enough." She uncovered his eyes.
He was surprised, and mortified. Her secret, you might guess.
Around the table, trying to breathe, were eighteen dinner guests.
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