Chicken Little: The Inside Story (A Jungian ... - Inner City Books

New Dimensions 99
had a session with Frau B., just in case.
“Ja, you are lonely without your family, but who isn’t? The
question is what to do. Hmm? Hmm? We fix.”
Dr. P. was a balding Englishman in his sixties. He had left a
medical practice in England in 1950 and never went back. Left his
wife, too. We hit it off right away. He was a lot like D.; I had the
feeling he could empathize with my situation.
“What do you hear from your children?” he asked.
He had none himself, but he didn’t flinch when I cried. I was
sorry to leave him after only a few months, but it was clear by then
that I wasn’t cut out to be an analyst.
“Accept yourself,” he advised. “You’re more comfortable with
the outside world.”
Anyway, maybe I did grow up, more or less. At least I’m content
now with what I’ve got. Before, I was always looking for something
better; I only felt happy when I was stoned, floating from
place to place, moment to moment. I went with the flow. I felt like
a god and behaved like one. I shall never forget the exhilaration,
the freedom, the clarity. But for what? I felt creative, but I didn’t
create. I felt beautiful, but did ugly things. I felt invulnerable, but I
hurt a lot. I paid a high price for a meager return. I lost people I
loved.
Meeting Adam may be the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
Sure, I like my work, but it’s the relationship with him that matters.
He’s kind and gentle and for all his learning he never puts me
down. He’s so much older, and yet I feel we’re buddies. His manner
reminds me of what I read about an old monk in a book Dr. P.
gave me when I left. 104 Sometimes I get the feeling Adam knows
everything, but he seemed genuinely surprised when I showed him
the books D. wrote about us. Then he got all fired up.
Maybe that’s what’s so satisfying about being with Adam—
there’s always something new. He can take off in a minute, but he
always stays close to the ground and I never feel left out.
104 This took some tracking down, as Norman had long since lost it. But while
browsing through my stacks he recognized the picture reproduced opposite, which
was used in von Franz, Alchemy: An Introduction, to illustrate the goal of individuation.