personality disorders explained

future. Such a plan is best developed with the help of the patient’s primary
clinician.
Experience has shown that responding positively to appropriate behaviours is also
very important in encouraging change to new and more successful ways of
handling stressful situations. Doing so also reduces the incidence of inappropriate
behaviours that then cause additional problems. Issuing spontaneous ultimatums
should be avoided.
5. Attempt to Remain Calm
Reacting desperately or angrily when there is a flare
up of symptoms will often add to the existing problem.
Remain calm. Acknowledge that it must be difficult to
experience the expressed feelings, even if they seem
out of proportion to the situation. This does not mean
that you agree with these feelings, or that you think
that the actions resulting from them are justified.
However, it is reassuring if you listen to their feelings,
the pain they are experiencing, and the difficulty they
are having in dealing with this pain. Remember that
you do not have to defend yourself if verbally
attacked, or develop solutions to their problems. If
they express thoughts of self-harm, remind them of the plan for dealing with this
problem that has been worked out with their therapist.
Allow and encourage the person with borderline disorder to attempt to bring their
response levels in line with the situation at hand. This may require that you give
them a little time alone to collect themselves. Then it may be possible to more
calmly and reasonably discuss the relevant issues.
In addition, do not be hesitant to express your feelings freely and openly, but
with moderation. Recent research suggests that caring involvement with your
loved one with borderline disorder is associated with better outcomes than a cool,
disinterested approach. Stay involved.
6. Remain Positive and Optimistic
It is important to remain optimistic about the ultimate results of treatment,
especially when the patient has a setback. The usual course of borderline disorder
with optimal treatment is one of increasing periods of time when symptoms are
absent or minimal, interrupted by episodes when the symptoms flare up. Over
time, the specific causes of relapses can be identified, anticipated, then steps
taken to develop alternative, more adaptive and effective responses. Occasional
family meetings with the therapist may help clarify the causes of relapses and
identify new ways of preventing them.
7. Participate in Educational Experiences About Borderline Disorder
It is very important that you learn as much as possible about borderline disorder
and your role in the treatment process. Your participation in educational
opportunities may benefit both you and your loved one with the disorder. When
conducted by skilled and experienced people, such structured and informative
experiences may involve both patients and family.