personality disorders explained

This behaviour brings about the very consequence that the narcissist so fears -
abandonment. But, this way, at least, the narcissist is able to tell himself (and others)
that HE was the one who
fostered the separation,
that it was fully his choice
and that he was not
surprised.
The truth is that, governed
by his internal demons,
the narcissist has no real
choice. The dismal future
of his relationships is
preordained.
place.
The narcissist is a binary
person: the carrot is the
stick in his case. If he gets
too close to someone
emotionally, he fears
ultimate and inevitable
abandonment. He, thus,
distances himself, acts
cruelly and brings about
the very abandonment
that he feared in the first
In this paradox lies the key to coping with
the narcissist. If, for instance, he is
having a rage attack – rage back. This
will provoke in him fears of being
abandoned and the resulting calm will be
so total that it might seem eerie.
Narcissists are known for these sudden
tectonic shifts in mood and in behaviour.
Mirror the narcissist’s actions and
repeat his words.
If he threatens – threaten back and
credibly try to use the same language
and content. If he leaves the house –
leave it as well, disappear on him. If he is
suspicious – act suspicious. Be critical,
denigrating, humiliating, go down to his
level – because that's the only way to
penetrate his thick defences. Faced with
his mirror image – the narcissist always
recoils.