personality disorders explained

Helping a Person Who Is Codependent
If someone in your life is codependent -a spouse, parent, child or friend- your
support may be an important part of recovery. Here are some ways you can help.
Spouse
Begin a dialogue about childhood and
messages your spouses might have
received from his parents that could have
caused shame. You might want to share
your own experiences of shame and how
they affected you. If you are recovering
from an addiction, it might be useful to
discuss how most spouses are affected by
their partner’s addiction and what might
be helpful to him (Al-Anon Meetings,
Codependence Anonymous Meetings).
Attending therapy with a spouse or buying
a book on codependence and reading it
together are other ways to begin to help.
Friend
You might want to get a friend to open up to you by sharing your
own insights with him. You can offer to go to a Codependents
Anonymous Meeting with him or buy him a book to read about
codependence. You also could offer him a place to stay (if he is
living with an addict and could benefit from time apart) or a
referral to a mental health professional. Sometimes making the
first phone call for help can be the first step toward empowering
the person to get well.
Child
Helping a child, unless it’s an adult child, might not be
appropriate since codependency as dysfunctional behaviour
is hard to distinguish from normal dependency when a child
is still young. If you are the parent of an adult son or
daughter who is now in a codependent relationship, you
could help by telling your child how much you love her and
that getting well is possible. Remind your child of the
strengths and positive qualities that sustained her through
other difficult times. Offer a place to stay or to go to a 12-Step meeting with her.