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Marty Allen
Marty’s Top Ten
Hello Dere
Bill Caserta
You Have to Laugh
Bill’s Blurbs
Evan Davis
The Show Must Go On
I Know a Place
1. My friend Harvey said the only thing
he has in common with his wife is that they
were both married on the same day.
2. My other friend Larry said:
“I’d like to throw something
over those girls
who wear topless
bathing suits –
me!”
3. I once
knew a girl
who was
picked up
so many
times, she
began to
grow handles!
4. Why do people point to their wrist when
they ask for the time, but when they ask
where the bathroom is, they don’t point to
their pants?
5. Why do people order double cheeseburgers,
large French Fries with a Diet coke?
6. When the young, beautiful showgirl
found out her handsome millionaire boyfriend
was fond of hunting, she told
him she was “game!”
7. A career girl’s mind
moves her ahead, while
a stripper girl’s
mind moves
her behind.
8. One
reason for a
man to stay
single – you
can leave the
toilet seat in
any position
you like.
9. A wife that is “made to order” can never
compare with a “ready maid.”
10. If you want your wife to pay undivided
attention to every word you say, talk in your
sleep.
For over the past decade, Marty Allen has performed with his on and off stage
singing partner Karon Kate Blackwell.
Friends Through the Years: Two guys
grew up together, but after college, one moved
to New York, the other to California. Every ten
years, they agree to meet in Chicago and play
golf. They would finish their round and go to
lunch.
When they turned 30, the conversation
went like this: “Where you wanna go? “Hooters.”
“Why?” “Well, you know, they got the
broads and the tight shorts. And the legs…”
Ten years later at 40: “Where you wanna
go?” “Hooters.” “Why?” “Well, you know,
they got cold beer and the big screen TVs, and
everybody has a little action on the games.”
At 50: “Where you wanna go?” “Hooters.”
“Why?” “The food is good and there is plenty
of parking.”
At 60: “Where you wanna go?” “Hooters.”
“Why?” “Wings are half price.”
At 70: “Where you wanna go?” “Hooters.”
“Why?” “They have 6 handicapped spaces
right by the door.”
At 80: “Where you wanna go?” “Hooters.”
“Why?” “We’ve never been there before.”
The Magic Room: A young Amish boy
and his father were visiting a shopping mall for
the first time. They were amazed by just about
everything they saw, but especially by two shiny
silver walls that could move apart and then
slide back together again.
The boy asked: “What is that father?” The father
(having never seen an elevator) responded:
“Son, I have never seen anything like that
in my life. I don’t know what it is.”
While the father and son watched in amazement,
a fat, old lady in a wheelchair moved up
to the silver walls and pressed a button. The
walls magically opened and the lady rolled into
a small room.
The walls closed and they saw small numbers
above the wall light up. They continued to
stare until it reached the last number and then
“somehow” the numbers began lighting up in
the reverse order.
Finally, the walls opened up again and a gorgeous
blond stepped out.
The dumbstruck father, not taking his eyes
off the beautiful woman quietly said to his son,
“Go get your mother.”
(A big Bill Blurb thank you to Renee
Riendeau for her contribution.)
Theater Seats for Seniors: An old man
lay awkwardly sprawled across three entire
seats in the movie theatre. When the usher
came by and noticed, he whispered to the old
man, “Sorry sir, but you’re only allowed one
seat.”
The old man didn’t budge. The usher became
impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from
there I’m going to have to call the manager.”
Once again, the old man just muttered and
did nothing. The usher marched back up the
aisle, and returned with the manager. Together
the two of them tried repeatedly to move the disheveled
man, but with no success.
Finally, they summoned the police. The officer
surveyed the situation, then asked, “All
right buddy what’s your name?” “Fred,” the old
man moaned. “Where you from, Fred?” asked
the police officer.
With a terrible strain in his voice, and without
moving, Fred replied, “The balcony…”
(A big Bill Blurb thank you to George
Meese for his contribution.)
When I moved to Vegas in 2008, I entrenched
myself in the local entertainment
scene. At first it was just helping to send out a
few flyers promoting some local entertainers.
Soon I was receiving requests from dozens
of performers to help them promote their
gigs. Gradually my email list ballooned from
a hundred to a few thousand, and I was off
to the races.
Club and restaurant owners started asking
me if I could bring some entertainment to
their facility to help stimulate their business.
Gradually, I started booking and promoting
performers.
I set up a music blog and included a calendar
of local entertainment. Wanting to
keep things current, I asked the performers
to update me weekly on their shows.
Soon thereafter, The Vegas Voice asked me
to be their Entertainment Editor. I wasn’t really
interested until they said, “we want you
to also produce our shows.” Now that interested
me!
Let me tell you the chronology of producing
a show. You begin by locking in a venue,
Your Vegas Voice host with performers
Rosanna Telford and Denise Rose
date and time. Then you need to put a band
together.
I was very lucky to meet Grammy Award
winner Gary Anderson, who is now our musical
director. Without him, I probably would
have thrown in the towel long ago.
But let’s get back to how a show is put
together. Once Gary and I decide on the band
members, I now go to work choosing which
performers would be best suited for the show.
I try to make sure the entertainment covers
different genres. Of course, this is when
The Vegas Voice is doing a variety show.
Things change a little if it’s a theme show
or a tribute show.
But the basics are the same. Get the
venue, the band and the performers. But
that’s the easy part.
I need photographs of all the performers
to put the show flyer together. Load
in times for the band has to be set up
along with coordinating with the sound
and lighting guys before anyone steps on
stage.
Sound checks, rehearsal times and
making sure all the entertainers can
make their run through times.
Juggling is a required skill in producing
a show. Once you’ve set up their rehearsal
schedule, you need to follow a pretty firm
timeline. And by the way, this all happens
only a few hours before show time.
Did I mention that there is always, an “opportunity”
that arises? I learned that with my
very first show.
A problem came up and I thought we’d
never get the show going, but I found out, it
always works out.
I’m also promoting the show on every
social media available. Sending out emails
and stopping by as many places nightly as I
can to get the word out.
Whether it is a free sponsored show or ticketed
show, I’m always concerned about having
a good turnout. What day is best to have
a show? What time is best?
How’s the weather? How’s the traffic? Are
the holidays too close? Are the holidays too
far away?
I can go on and on, but you know what
they say: “The Show Must Go On.” And it always
does!
Evan Davis is the entertainment editor of The Vegas Voice. You can read his
entertainment blog and sign up to receive his free email weekly Calendar of Events at
www.EvanDavisJazz.com. You can also email him at: evan@thevegasvoice.net.
Bill Caserta is the Project Director for The Vegas Voice and has a very “unique” sense of
humor. He welcomes all funny submissions at: billbuck52@hotmail.com.
6 www.thevegasvoice.net
january 17
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