dec2015

HOLIDAY
by Cynthia MacGregor
Merry Chrismukkah
How Interfaith Couples Celebrate the Holidays
Over the last couple of
years, there has been a lot
of debate over whether it’s
more politically correct
to say “happy holidays”
when you don’t know
what religion (if any) a
person follows, rather
than to say something
more specific like “merry
Christmas.” While some
folks applaud those who
recognize that the person
they’re greeting may be
Jewish, or Muslim, or
even some other faith –
or none at all – others
take offense at what they
perceive as a slap in the
face of Christianity.
And what do you say to
a person who celebrates
both of the major winter
holidays: Christmas
and Chanukah? Many
interfaith couples do,
and South Florida has
no shortage of interfaith
couples. The Parklander
talked to members of
several such couples and
asked them about the
interfaith aspect of their
marriages in general and,
in particular, about how
they celebrate the winter
holidays.
Seth and Kathryn Turnoff, of Boca
Raton, who will celebrate their first
wedding anniversary on January 31st,
are still childless but planning to have
children. Kathryn was raised Roman
Catholic and went to Catholic school
but now is more spiritual than religious.
Seth, raised Jewish, also considers himself
more spiritual than religious. Judaism
does not play a large part in his life,
but he does feel a strong identification
as Jewish.
The couple does not attend services at
any church, but they do attend services
together for the Jewish High Holy Days.
Their wedding officiant was a friend of
the family who is state-recognized but
not in any religion. The wedding was not
held in a house of worship, but there
were elements of Judaism incorporated
in the ceremony.
This time of the year, their home is
graced with both a menorah and a
Christmas tree — a live one. They light
the menorah every night, and usually on
the first night of the holiday, they have a
get-together with family and friends, a
celebration they term a “latke-palooza.”
On Christmas Eve, the couple holds
a casual open house for family and
friends, where fondue is the main offering.
On Christmas Day they host a more
formal sit-down dinner with prime rib, for
which they get out the nice china. “Our
[holiday] traditions,” they explained, “are
mainly focused on family, friends, and
food…with a little bit of religion sprinkled
in there somewhere.”
When, eventually, Seth and Kathryn
have children, they will raise them in
both religions, teaching them some of
the tenets of Judaism and some of the
very positive aspects of Christianity.
Kathryn identifies with traditions that she
knows from her family are relevant to the
religion of her childhood.
The children might attend Sunday
school — perhaps even religious
schools of both faiths. Seth would like
their children to be bar mitzvah/bat
mitzvah, and he would like them to attend
Hebrew school, but he and Kathryn
agree they would like the kids to be
exposed to both religions.
Fortunately, the interfaith aspect of their
marriage has never presented any problems
or hurdles for the couple, nor have
their families created any problems. “Absolutely
not!,” Seth says emphatically.
“Our families have been very focused on
our love and happiness, not our religious
backgrounds.”
40
DECEMBER 2015