dec2015

FROM THE EXPERT
ASK DR. RENAE
SISTER ACT
Sibling’s Disruptive Behavior
Worries Teen Brother
Dear Worried 14-year-old Big Brother,
I understand your dilemma. I know this may sound hard
to believe, but it’s possible that your sister is especially
misbehaved when around you. She may be seeking
your attention by taunting and bugging you. Try to give
her positive attention and positive reaction for good
behavior. She currently is more than likely wanting
attention from her “cool older brother,” and has figured
out she can get a reaction from you when she acts out
in a negative way.
Spend time with her and do not give attention or
reaction to her bad behavior. I am a younger sister and
I vividly remember annoying my brother constantly,
because he wouldn’t hang out with me. It wasn’t until
he ignored my negative actions that I formed a more
positive relationship with him. Don’t forget that it could
all be a phase; just as you claim to have had a similar
phase. Give it time and she will mature. Remember,
there is nothing more rewarding than a sibling bond!
- Friend Who Understands
Dear Dr. Renae,
My younger sister is out of control. My
parents do not seem to recognize how
serious it is. They think I am tattling or do
not like her. She behaves badly when they
are around, but much worse when they
are not around. My grandmother could
not handle her this past weekend while
my parents were away and we stayed with
my grandparents. I know that my parents
have been called by the school about her
behavior, too. I had behavior problems
when I was her age but this is much worse.
She is only six years old now and I worry
about what will happen when she becomes
a teenager. How can I get my parents to see
how serious this is?
- Worried 14-year-old Big Brother
Dear Worried 14-year-old Big Brother,
The best policy is to be honest and talk to your
parents about your concerns. Simply have an
uninterrupted conversation with your parents and
they will listen. Give them examples of your sister’s
bad behavior and explain why you are concerned,
especially for the future. I sincerely hope that this
small piece of advice helps.
- A Concerned Friend
Dear Worried 14-year-old Big Brother,
First of all, I must commend you for caring so much
about your little sister. I know lots of teens your age who
don’t have a care in the world for what their little siblings
are doing, so it’s very kind of you to want to help the
situation. Truthfully, though, I’m a little limited in what I
can suggest, if you’ve already spoken to your parents.
Perhaps what you can do is sit down with them again,
for a more serious conversation, and say when you tell
them about your sister’s misbehavior, it’s not meant in a
tattling way. On the contrary, explain to them that you’re
coming from a very mature place, and that you are
genuinely worried about your sister. Be sure to share
examples of things she has done that have made you
worried, and tell your parents why those things have
worried you.
- A Caring Friend
92
DECEMBER 2015