Money Making

ADVICE
FRANCHISING FUNNIES
There are many traits required of franchisees
and franchisors. One of them is undoubtedly a
keen sense of humour, Linda Whitney says
Franchising can have
quirky, odd and sometimes
downright hilarious
moments, as these stories
prove.
Ed Mauleverer, founder of the
franchise Ed’s Garden Maintenance,
recalls this conversation between
himself and a client:
Client: “Do you treat small lawns?”
Ed: “Yes, how big is the lawn?” Client:
“About six feet by three. And can
you pick me up and take me over
with you?” Ed, rather puzzled: “Yes,
of course.” The journey ended at a
graveyard.
Ed says: “We mowed the grave and
put a border of flowers round it. He
paid his respects and we took him
home.”
ANIMAL STORIES
Pet care franchises are always a rich
source of stories. Richard Dancy of
dog sitting franchise Barking Mad
recounts: “We had a franchisee who
was walking on a towpath when she
accidentally pushed someone else’s
dog into the canal.
“She rescued the dog and in the
process of apologising to the owner
won herself a new customer.”
Denis Chirgwin literally wrote the
book on animal franchise stories.
Denis, founder and managing director
of Animals at Home and author of
Guinea Pigs Don’t Bounce, says: “As
a franchisee, I was asked by Fred, a
blind former fisherman, to take his cat
Timmy to the vet.
“The cat was skinny, always
ravenous and had a fearsome temper.
It was diagnosed with a thyroid
problem. Soon after I returned to take
Timmy on a return visit to the vet and
found Fred’s kitchen covered in blood
and bloody handprints all along the
hall. I was terrified - it looked like a
murder scene.
“I found Fred on the sofa, still alive.
It turned out he had cooked some fish
for the cat and put it in the fridge. 90
minutes later he opened the fridge
again, only to be leapt upon and
attacked by the furious cat, which had
sneaked in there, unseen, when Fred
had put the fish in.
“The cat was in a foul mood after 90
minutes in the chiller and set about him
with claws and teeth, but while Fred
felt the pain, being blind meant he had
not seen the blood. The cat had eaten all
the fish, by the way.”
WE HAD A FRANCHISEE
WHO WAS WALKING
ON A TOWPATH WHEN
SHE ACCIDENTALLY
PUSHED SOMEONE
ELSE’S DOG INTO THE
CANAL”
Denis also recounts: “I was once
employed to look after Tashy, a
29-year-old pony. Her favourite
treat was digestive biscuits. One day
I released her without getting the
biscuits first.
“I opened the tiny glass sun lounge
where the biscuits were stored and
turned round to see her astride the
coffee table in the middle of the lounge,
clearly not intending to budge until she
got her biscuits.
“Now I was trapped in the wrong
end of a glass sun lounge, furnished
with wicker chairs and a glass table,
by a pony mad keen to get its biscuits.
I panicked for a couple of minutes,
wondering how to either turn Tashy
26 MAKING MONEY