Crocodile Magazine January 2017

UF TO INSTALL NEW
COLD LEFTOVERS
DISPENSERS
The University is hoping the program doesn’t take away from Meal Plan sales.
Priapus
Crocodile Staff Writer
A
UF official has announced
that UF will be replacing
all vending machines on
campus with a new alternative
that will sell primarily cold
leftovers for students.
The new dispensers are part
of a new initiative to provide
more substantial food options
for students who are too busy
to wait in line at dining halls or
local restaurants, said Head of
Student Diet Lisa Tupper.
“We noticed that a lot of
students were living off of
granola bars and Doritos
because that’s all our vending
machines had,”
Tupper said.
“These new dispensers will
finally give students a healthier
option while giving them a taste
they won’t believe didn’t come
straight from their kitchen at
home!”
Tupper said that they currently
plan for the dispensers to
carry cold mashed potatoes,
half eaten pints of lo-mein, 6
varieties of pasta salad, and a
“mystery” flavor pudding.
The options were chosen
after months of detailed and
extensive research on the eating
habits of students at home
staff@thecrocodile.org
The machines will have yesterday’s food at today’s prices and temperature.
versus at school, and Tupper said
they actually made the efforts
to visit the parents of students
at UF to see what they were
cooking up in their hometowns.
“We actually were expecting
to have to introduce gourmet
chefs or figure out a way for
students to heat up their
lunches,”
Tupper said.
“Instead, we were shocked
to see that over 98% of our
students eat almost exclusively
cold pizza slices and whatever is
leftover from yesterday’s meal in
the fridge.”
So far, students have reacted
with excitement to the new food
option on campus. Dining halls
have seen lower numbers, and
janitors have reported cleaning
up almost half the amount
of abandoned granola bar
wrappers than usual. However,
many have confided to Crocodile
reporters that they will continue
to steal their roommates food
instead.
Writing footers is harder than writing articles
January 2017
13