Crocodile Magazine January 2017

STUDENT ABLE TO AFFORD
TEXTBOOK AFTER STEALING
TOILET PAPER FOR 3 YEARS
She also got the online code for the homework.
Lysistrata
Crocodile Staff Writer
A
UF senior has saved
money to buy one
textbook at the UF
Bookstore entirely by stealing
toilet paper for three years.
The student, Halley Kommet,
said she decided to stop
spending money on the
necessity after she bought her
first textbook freshman year, and
was trying to find new ways to
budget without making her life
miserable.
“Toilet paper is an expensive
necessity,”
Said UF Environmental Studies
Senior Halley Kommet.
“Instead of learning to use less
squares, I decided it was more
efficient to take toilet paper from
the school I already pay tuition
for.”
For Kommet, striking real gold
was finding normal sized toilet
paper to fit in the dispenser at
home. Most rolls she comes
across are industrial sized. Either
way, as a student who is always
wearing a backpack, hiding the
toilet paper was easier than
stealing candy from a baby.
“I try to limit it to only toilet
paper, because I figure no one
misses it—but I’d be lying if I
said I hadn’t snagged a few soap
staff@thecrocodile.org
This bundle will go for about six cents on the secondhand market.
bags too,”
Said Kommet.
The price of textbooks
has been a hot button issue
for students for many years.
Some, who wished to remain
anonymous, said that they had
resorted to their own means by
slyly sneaking Tupperware into
the dining halls, or using the
showers in the science building
when water bills were high.
“You know, it’s unfair to call
our pricing ‘criminal’ when we’re
the ones having to use Papa
Johns’ napkins in the restroom,”
Said Head of Material Pricing
Marjorie Sacks.
“We were going to run a 2.5%
off sale, but now that kind of
generosity has just gone right
out the window.”
After three years of saving
up money, Kommet said she
was excited to finally have
physical copies of her required
textbooks. It warms her heart to
feel like a real student during her
last semester at the University of
Florida.
“It’s been a heck of a lot of
fun living on this wild side, but
I’m just excited to graduate so
I can finally upgrade to some
Charmin.”
6 January 2017 Read a different footer!