Crocodile Magazine January 2017
Get a glimpse of the future in this primarily blue and purple edition of the Really Independent Florida Crocodile!
Get a glimpse of the future in this primarily blue and purple edition of the Really Independent Florida Crocodile!
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OPINION<br />
WILL I EVER<br />
MEET A PRE-MED<br />
STUDENT AS<br />
SMART AS ME?<br />
Really, I’m serious!<br />
Jason<br />
<strong>Crocodile</strong> Staff Writer<br />
staff@thecrocodile.org<br />
It’s hard enough trying<br />
to find another pre-med<br />
student. I feel like we’re<br />
a rare breed here at UF.<br />
Biology majors are hardly<br />
existent anymore. I think it’s<br />
probably because no-one<br />
else has the same love of the<br />
craft that I do. And by craft,<br />
I mean “the naive idea that<br />
I’ll probably make a lot of<br />
money later that I will have to<br />
use to repay all the student<br />
loans I’m taking out.” But<br />
really though, where are all<br />
the smart pre-med students?<br />
Everyone I ask always got a<br />
lower score on the SAT than<br />
me. I got a 4 on my AP Bio<br />
exam, so I’m pretty much a<br />
doctor already. The other day,<br />
my friend asked me how they<br />
could get rid of some redness<br />
in their eyes, and I prescribed<br />
them some Visine. I think they<br />
were probably out too late<br />
studying by a smoky campfire<br />
or something.<br />
Seriously though, where<br />
are the smart pre-med<br />
students? I am literally the<br />
smartest person I know, and<br />
that includes my Organic<br />
Chemistry instructor. Like,<br />
doesn’t he realize I know<br />
everything already? He’s book<br />
smart, but I’m street smart<br />
and book smart. I can figure<br />
out when the next bus is<br />
coming just by looking at an<br />
app on my phone, and I know<br />
the chemical name of water.<br />
I’m pretty much the<br />
smartest person alive. I have<br />
a GPA of 1.3 and I’m only a<br />
freshman. I heard at Preview<br />
that only a third of freshman<br />
Pre-Med students graduate<br />
as pre-med, and I think I’m<br />
going to be part of that third.<br />
I’ll also probably graduate<br />
early considering how great<br />
my grades are.<br />
My parents are happy with<br />
my grades but they really<br />
wanted me to be a lawyer.<br />
I was like “do you think I’m<br />
dumb?” Seriously do they<br />
think I’m just going to sit<br />
around memorize a book full<br />
of laws or rules or something<br />
all day? I was born for med.<br />
Specifically, the pre part of<br />
pre-med.<br />
This is an open invitation to<br />
anyone: face me in a battle of<br />
medical wits and you’re sure<br />
to have egg on your face at<br />
the end.<br />
How does no one know what op-ed means?<br />
<strong>January</strong> <strong>2017</strong><br />
25
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