Wealden Times | WT182 | April 2017 | Gardens supplement inside

Previous pages: The main feature of the spacious new kitchen is a huge classic kitchen dresser, which Adrian’s parents bought at an
auction in Rye Above: Under the kitchen’s central work table there’s a Fortnum & Mason crate, full of more china treasures which are
in everyday use. Adrian made the tea cosy out of old ties
The first impression of Cheyneys Almshouse is
of a neat Dutch-gabled cottage of great charm
and character, but as you reach the front door
it becomes clear that this might not be the modest little
country home it appears to be from the outside.
Stopping to admire the two elegant stone dogs
on either side of the front step, you notice that the
multiple pairs of boots and shoes scattered around it,
as if just discarded after a walk, are all planted with
the tiny hardy succulents known as houseleeks.
Once owners Adrian Howard and his partner Sven
welcome you in – and a very warm welcome it is – your
eyes and brain go into overdrive, trying to take everything
in. Interesting objects and visual puns abound.
The vestibule is pretty much filled by a huge chair like a
carved wooden throne. There’s an equally outsized Venetian
glass mirror in a very small sitting room to the left. Above is a
lampshade made from a straw boater. Stepping through into
the kitchen extension, you are met by a male shop window
dummy dressed in a guard’s uniform and a crash helmet, next
to a station map from a Jubilee Line underground station.
Hanging from the tiny mounted horns of African
game animals are rows of exquisite hats. In the
kitchen itself, there’s a lady mannequin wearing a
chic red cloche hat, her torso covered in postage
stamps… (I later find out her name is Gladys.)
Like the Tardis crossed with Gringotts, Cheyneys
Almshouse is much bigger than it looks and a secret
repository for a treasure trove of fascinating stuff, all of
which has been sourced, scavenged and sought out by
Adrian and Sven, who are Olympic standard bargain
hunters, scouting the legendary boot fairs of nearby
59 wealdentimes.co.uk