Covey - The 7 habits of highly effective people
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"I know," he replied with a forced patience. "But since you won't tell me exactly what it is,<br />
I figure the best way to find out what it is is to find out what it is not. Do you live where<br />
you want to live?"<br />
"I guess."<br />
"Honey, Stephen's here for just a few minutes to try to help us. Just give me a quick 'yes'<br />
or 'no' answer. Do you live where you want to live?"<br />
"Yes."<br />
"Okay. That's settled. Do you have the things you want to have?"<br />
"Yes."<br />
"All right. Do you do the things you want to do?"<br />
This went on for a little while, and I could see I wasn't helping at all. So I intervened and<br />
said, "Is this kind <strong>of</strong> how it goes in your relationship?"<br />
"Every day, Stephen," he replied.<br />
"It's the story <strong>of</strong> our marriage," she sighed.<br />
I looked at the two <strong>of</strong> them and the thought crossed my mind that they were two halfbrained<br />
<strong>people</strong> living together. "Do you have any children?" I asked.<br />
"Yes, two."<br />
"Really?" I asked incredulously. "How did you do it?"<br />
"What do you mean how did we do it?"<br />
"You were synergistic!" I said. "One plus one usually equals two. But you made one plus<br />
one equal four. Now that's synergy. <strong>The</strong> whole is greater than the sum <strong>of</strong> the parts. So<br />
how did you do it?"<br />
"You know how we did it," he replied.<br />
"You must have valued the differences!" I exclaimed.<br />
Valuing the Differences<br />
Valuing the differences is the essence <strong>of</strong> synergy -- the mental, the emotional, the<br />
psychological differences between <strong>people</strong>. And the key to valuing those differences is to<br />
realize that all <strong>people</strong> see the world, not as it is, but as they are.<br />
If I think I see the world as it is, why would I want to value the differences? Why would I<br />
even want to bother with someone who's "<strong>of</strong>f track"? My paradigm is that I am objective;<br />
I see the world as it is. Everyone else is buried by the minutia, but I see the larger picture.<br />
That's why they call me a supervisor -- I have super vision.<br />
If that's my paradigm, then I will never be <strong>effective</strong>ly interdependent, or even <strong>effective</strong>ly<br />
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