Covey - The 7 habits of highly effective people
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I believe that a life <strong>of</strong> integrity is the most fundamental source <strong>of</strong> personal worth. I do not<br />
agree with the popular success literature that says that self-esteem is primarily a matter <strong>of</strong><br />
mindset, <strong>of</strong> attitude -- that you can psyche yourself into peace <strong>of</strong> mind.<br />
Peace <strong>of</strong> mind comes when your life is in harmony with true principles and values and in<br />
no other way.<br />
<strong>The</strong>re is also the intrinsic security that comes as a result <strong>of</strong> <strong>effective</strong> interdependent<br />
living. <strong>The</strong>re is security in knowing that win-win solutions do exist, that life is not always<br />
"either/or," that there are almost always mutually beneficial Third Alternatives. <strong>The</strong>re is<br />
security in knowing that you can step out <strong>of</strong> your own frame <strong>of</strong> reference without giving<br />
it up, that you can really, deeply understand another human being. <strong>The</strong>re is security that<br />
comes when you authentically, creatively, and cooperatively interact with other <strong>people</strong><br />
and really experience these interdependent <strong>habits</strong>.<br />
<strong>The</strong>re is intrinsic security that comes from service, from helping other <strong>people</strong> in a<br />
meaningful way. One important source is your work, when you see yourself in a<br />
contributive and creative mode, really making a difference. Another source is anonymous<br />
service -- no one knows it and no one necessarily ever will. And that's not the concern;<br />
the concern is blessing the lives <strong>of</strong> other <strong>people</strong>. Influence, not recognition, becomes the<br />
motive.<br />
Viktor Frankl focused on the need for meaning and purpose in our lives, something that<br />
transcends our own lives and taps the best energies within us. <strong>The</strong> late Dr. Hans Selye, in<br />
his monumental research on stress, basically says that a long, healthy, and happy life is<br />
the result <strong>of</strong> making contributions, <strong>of</strong> having meaningful projects that are personally<br />
exciting and contribute to and bless the lives <strong>of</strong> others. His ethic was "earn thy neighbor's<br />
love.<br />
This is the true joy in life -- that being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a<br />
mighty one. That being a force <strong>of</strong> nature, instead <strong>of</strong> a feverish, selfish little clod <strong>of</strong><br />
ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you<br />
happy. I am <strong>of</strong> the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I<br />
live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I<br />
die. For the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief<br />
candle to me. It's a sort <strong>of</strong> splendid torch which I've got to hold up for the moment and I<br />
want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.<br />
N. Eldon Tanner has said, "Service is the rent we pay for the privilege <strong>of</strong> living on this<br />
earth." And there are so many ways to serve. Whether or not we belong to a church or<br />
service organization or have a job that provides meaningful service opportunities, not a<br />
day goes by that we can't at least serve one other human being by making deposits <strong>of</strong><br />
unconditional love.<br />
Scripting Others<br />
Most <strong>people</strong> are a function <strong>of</strong> the social mirror, scripted by the opinions, the perceptions,<br />
the paradigms <strong>of</strong> the <strong>people</strong> around them. As interdependent <strong>people</strong>, you and I come<br />
from a paradigm which includes the realization that we are a part <strong>of</strong> that social mirror.<br />
We can choose to reflect back to others a clear, undistorted vision <strong>of</strong> themselves. We can<br />
affirm their proactive nature and treat them as responsible <strong>people</strong>. We can help script<br />
them as principle-centered, value-based, independent, worthwhile individuals. And, with<br />
the Abundance Mentality, we realize that giving a positive reflection to others in no way<br />
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