Ask Periwinkle Rural business entrepreneur Periwinkle shares his decades of experience in making money from people outdoors Dear Periwinkle, Q My husband and I run a wedding venue business and would like to add some ‘props’ we can hire out to couples as part of their package – any ideas about what we should invest in? Hermione, Stockton on Tees Dear Hermione, A Periwinkle’s stock advice on investments is to avoid hogbelly futures, Cryptocurrency or government bonds issued in the Central African Republic. Of course, your question relates specifically to wedding day props. In which case avoid the following, foolishly sensible ideas too: › Oversized lit letters spelling ‘Mr & Mrs’ or ‘Love’ › In rural locations, go rustic - hire a hay wagon or vintage tractor for photo shoots › The classic approach - white weddings and the like - could use some beautiful furniture (Chesterfields etc.) or a chandelier, stone fountain or arbour arch entrance. As I say, avoid these. Far better to opt for class. Get yourself a muster of peacocks. That’ll raise the tone. Or nip down to the nearest agricultural breaker’s yard and pick up a bit of combine harvester or half an old plough. In the right setting each will look like a Henry Moore sculpture; ideal for photo-opportunities. Periwinkle’s best advice, however, is to get yourself a vodka luge. Serve only Canada Goose for the alcohol and insist on a classic theme for the ice sculpture - a 3D replica of Botticelli’s Venus perhaps, or should you wish to hint that you don’t take culture overseriously, try Castor and Pollux playing ping pong. Periwinkle “MAKE SURE WHAT YOU PUT ON YOUR WEBSITE REFLECTS REALITY. DON’T SAY THAT UNICORNS ROAM THE ESTATE UNLESS THEY ACTUALLY DO (YOUR GAMEKEEPER WILL KNOW)” Dear Periwinkle, Q What can I do to impress the inspectors at my upcoming glamping accreditation check? Dunstan Merriweather, Cambridge Dear Dunstan, A The conventional view on this is straightforward: › Make sure what you put on your website reflects reality. Don’t say that unicorns roam the estate unless they actually do (your gamekeeper will know) › The ‘whole’ visitor experience must be considered – from booking to arrival to the stay itself › For a high rating, pay attention to the quality of everything – including fixtures and fittings › Facilities count – hot water, en-suite, crisp linen etc. If you are going for a more back to basics style then make sure what you do offer is authentic and the best it can be. Regular readers should not be surprised to learn, however, that Periwinkle takes a more Bohemian approach to inspections. Many inspectors welcome a fresh approach to accreditation. Anything that adds a frisson to the anticipation of the inspector’s final report. Sprinkle a number of fake reviews and testimonials about Facebook and Twitter. And get yourself a ‘celebrity’ endorsement. Don’t worry if you don’t know any celebrities - the Actor’s Guild can always find you an Emmerdale extra who once ordered a shandy in the Woolpack. And remember, you can never have enough gadgets: A deep fat frier with surround sound can turn heads, or a home cinema that does chips. For something really different, re-wilding your acreage can energise your business no end, though do expect trouble the first time marauding hyenas bring down an inspector in open country. Somebody is bound to knock on your door about that. When all’s said and done, if your inspector isn’t progressive enough to appreciate your avant garde approach, try bribery. Periwinkle Dear Periwinkle, Q I have been running a food fair for the last five years and I am really keen to take it up a notch. But how? Douglas, Dublin Dear Douglas, A There are those who play this sort of thing with a straight bat. They organise live cooking demos - with celebrity chefs if possible - or set out themed areas (local, fish, sweets, drink) each with its own sponsor. They’ll even organise goodie bags from sponsors as give-aways to attendees. But I’m not sure I like the cut of their jib. I mean, where’s their spirit of adventure? Far better, surely, to get a couple of Michelin starred chefs boozed up on Baileys before tricking them into a head to head egg-poaching competition. Or why not organise a ‘stuff yourself stupid’ tournament with entrants munching the local sausage by the yard until they start projectile vomiting over the guy ropes of the marquee? Periwinkle PERIWINKLE& CO. RURAL ENTREPRENEUR CONSULTANCY SERVICES If you would like to benefit from Periwinkle’s words of wisdom, please email your questions to info@openairbusiness.com 66 WWW.OPENAIRBUSINESS.COM
Meet the freshest arrival in the field. Partner your glamping geodesic domes are ready to W. TruDomes.com business with TruDomes. help businesses like yours T. 02476 326585 Our home-grown experts in create beautiful and profitable the field of British designed, spaces in your own fields. E. Hello@TruDomes.com engineered and manufactured From cosy to colossal we create beautiful spaces to complement any landscape. TruDomes.com
Change language