Vegas Voice 3-18

Insulted, Propositioned & Spurned
By: Vicki Wentz / Vicki’s Voice
went out with my three best friends last month.
I We went to our favorite restaurant and had a
delicious dinner.
Afterward, as I knew they would, they all wanted to continue the
evening down the street at a local bar, and being generally of the
drinking persuasion, I was agreeable. What I am not agreeable to is
walking there.
Now, I am not lazy, people. But in 1989 I broke my leg, and as a
result, my ankle is permanently turned in a little.
This means that at the end of a long day I have a slight limp. It also
means I wear tennis shoes every single day.
I can’t wear “big-girl” shoes for long before someone needs to carry
me around. I can’t walk in them any farther than, say, from the table to
the restroom and maybe, back again.
My friends are totally aware that I am “big-girl-shoe-handicapped.”
Yet, they consistently cajole me into walking places in them by insisting
that the distance is negligible...infinitesimal...almost laughably short.
“Look, see that blue light?” they point. “That’s it!” The only blue
light I see is approximately four football fields away. “We’ll take our
time, just a pleasant little stroll!”
They don’t get it. But, I am not a wimp, so I heaved a dramatic sigh
and off we went. It wasn’t pleasant. The only thing that kept me going
was that the blue light slowly became a sign, which became an image
of a martini.
When we had partied as much as four middle-aged educators can,
the other three offered to go get the car and pick me up.
This particular bar has a long, cushioned bench in the front, for both
customers and the occasional “big-girl-shoe-handicapped” passer-by
to use. I sat there waiting, watching people wander by, envying their
footwear.
Suddenly, a man who was a tad “over-served” stood over me. “Hey!”
he said, no smile, and glanced into the bar, at those still carousing.
“They’re partying without you?”
I smiled, thinking: Dude…breath mint. “Oh, no. I’m waiting to get
picked up…(oops)...uh...by my CAR, I mean!”
“You know why they’re partying without you?” he asked, not
processing my previous response.
“Why?” I asked, curious despite myself.
He said (and I am not making this up) “Cause you’re too OLD to
party like that!” I was momentarily speechless, and he went on, “I’m
61, I know what I’m talkin’ about!”
“But, you know what?” and he sat down beside me! “What?!” I
blurted. “It’s okay,” he winked. “You and me; we’ll party together,” he
said, scooting a little closer. I searched passing cars frantically, looking
for my ex-friends, who had obviously stopped at another bar and
forgotten me.
“I don’t think so, but thank you very much for the offer,” I beamed.
“I was raised to be a lady.”
He stared at me for about 30 of the longest, uncomfortablest seconds
of my life.
“HUH!” he stood abruptly. “Forget you, then!” And, he strode off.
At that moment, my friends pulled up. Mental note: Make new friends
TOMORROW!
Vicki Wentz is a writer, teacher and speaker living in North
Carolina. Readers may contact her - and order her new children’s
book! - by visiting her website at www.vickiwentz.com
16 March 2018