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Weeds Meads and Steeds PDF

After an alcoholic wizard accidentally curses a forest, it’s up to a group of misfit adventurers to set things right. There’s Dranden, a saddle maker wanting to boost his business; Belfast, a ruggedly handsome man who is also dangerously clumsy; Toble, a smelly, disgusting goblin who wants to do some good with his miserable, wretched existence; Rendle, a dull-witted academic who’s entirely obsessed with amphibians; and finally Zelendra, a half-elf priestess who ran away from home in search of true love. But their relatively easy quest of chopping down an infected tree quickly turns dangerous as they uncover a deeply sinister plot that’s bigger and far more ancient than any of them could imagine. With the entire kingdom at risk these brave souls must battle an ice elemental, survive their evil twins, traverse the shadow realm, and destroy a rampaging monster; all while tripping over, getting lucky, or taking naps – whatever works! They learn how to set aside their differences and grapple with life’s big questions such as; can you trust your perception of reality, is chasing after love a noble pursuit, what are the metaphysics of luck, and do frogs taste better than chickens?

After an alcoholic wizard accidentally curses a forest, it’s up to a group of misfit adventurers to set things right. There’s Dranden, a saddle maker wanting to boost his business; Belfast, a ruggedly handsome man who is also dangerously clumsy; Toble, a smelly, disgusting goblin who wants to do some good with his miserable, wretched existence; Rendle, a dull-witted academic who’s entirely obsessed with amphibians; and finally Zelendra, a half-elf priestess who ran away from home in search of true love.

But their relatively easy quest of chopping down an infected tree quickly turns dangerous as they uncover a deeply sinister plot that’s bigger and far more ancient than any of them could imagine. With the entire kingdom at risk these brave souls must battle an ice elemental, survive their evil twins, traverse the shadow realm, and destroy a rampaging monster; all while tripping over, getting lucky, or taking naps – whatever works!

They learn how to set aside their differences and grapple with life’s big questions such as; can you trust your perception of reality, is chasing after love a noble pursuit, what are the metaphysics of luck, and do frogs taste better than chickens?

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TAL LAM OOR<br />

stretch <strong>and</strong> warp if you like?”<br />

“No, no. I think I can live with my disappointment.” Dr<strong>and</strong>en said. “Simple<br />

is better.”<br />

“We thought so too.” Pournel swung open the basement door, <strong>and</strong> led<br />

everyone out.<br />

The humble home of Baroof Pennyshoe was much smaller than Pournel's<br />

mansion, being one large circle instead of an array of rooms interconnected with<br />

hallways. Here, every room was visible to every other room; the dining hall was<br />

across from the bedroom, the study was across from the food pantry, <strong>and</strong> the<br />

laboratory was across from the bath. It all existed together within a large sphere<br />

<strong>and</strong> upon three stories, accessible by wooden steps that were scattered<br />

throughout.<br />

“Baroof has always had trouble remembering where he put things or the<br />

items he owns,” Pournel said, glancing around, “like a living embodiment of the<br />

expression; out of sight, out of mind. He has built his house to combat that, so<br />

nothing is ever out of sight.”<br />

Pointing to the entrance door, Pournel led them out <strong>and</strong> down a winding<br />

pathway to a main road. Looking back, the house had a giant bulbous shape, like<br />

an onion, <strong>and</strong> it sat on top a hill near a stretch of green pastures that contained<br />

many fruit trees <strong>and</strong> flowering plants.<br />

“Do all wizards have such vast gardens?” Belfast asked.<br />

“Not all, but it does help pass the time.” Brewsworth answered. “Let us ride<br />

swiftly, we should make it to the capital city Vallea by midday.”<br />

Named after the large river that ran through most of it, the Tallamoor<br />

kingdom was shut off from the rest of the world by the sharp jagged mountains<br />

that encompassed all sides of the l<strong>and</strong>. Legends speak that an ancient dark god<br />

once ruled these l<strong>and</strong>s, <strong>and</strong> the god pulled up the very rocks from the ground as a<br />

deterrent to keep intruders from invading. This created a natural barrier of mostly<br />

impassible terrain where each mountain was rough <strong>and</strong> deadly, <strong>and</strong> littered with<br />

pools of acid that would suddenly surge from the ground to instantly dissolve any<br />

unfortunate victim in it's path. This forced modern day travelers to choose one of<br />

only three routes; the eastern, southern, <strong>and</strong> western highways.<br />

“When the dark god Tallam was struck dead,” Pournel said instructively,<br />

talking over the clomping of their horse's hooves, “the locals believe his<br />

venomous blood streamed all across the mountain tops, existing to this day as<br />

bright green pools of bubbling acid. Luckily we avoided having to travel through<br />

the southern pass <strong>and</strong> skipped over many hardships. Now the road is easy, with<br />

only a few bumps here <strong>and</strong> there. Unfortunately, the western highway cannot be<br />

used because an invading orc force has occupied it for over a year now.”<br />

137

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