Weeds Meads and Steeds PDF
After an alcoholic wizard accidentally curses a forest, it’s up to a group of misfit adventurers to set things right. There’s Dranden, a saddle maker wanting to boost his business; Belfast, a ruggedly handsome man who is also dangerously clumsy; Toble, a smelly, disgusting goblin who wants to do some good with his miserable, wretched existence; Rendle, a dull-witted academic who’s entirely obsessed with amphibians; and finally Zelendra, a half-elf priestess who ran away from home in search of true love. But their relatively easy quest of chopping down an infected tree quickly turns dangerous as they uncover a deeply sinister plot that’s bigger and far more ancient than any of them could imagine. With the entire kingdom at risk these brave souls must battle an ice elemental, survive their evil twins, traverse the shadow realm, and destroy a rampaging monster; all while tripping over, getting lucky, or taking naps – whatever works! They learn how to set aside their differences and grapple with life’s big questions such as; can you trust your perception of reality, is chasing after love a noble pursuit, what are the metaphysics of luck, and do frogs taste better than chickens?
After an alcoholic wizard accidentally curses a forest, it’s up to a group of misfit adventurers to set things right. There’s Dranden, a saddle maker wanting to boost his business; Belfast, a ruggedly handsome man who is also dangerously clumsy; Toble, a smelly, disgusting goblin who wants to do some good with his miserable, wretched existence; Rendle, a dull-witted academic who’s entirely obsessed with amphibians; and finally Zelendra, a half-elf priestess who ran away from home in search of true love.
But their relatively easy quest of chopping down an infected tree quickly turns dangerous as they uncover a deeply sinister plot that’s bigger and far more ancient than any of them could imagine. With the entire kingdom at risk these brave souls must battle an ice elemental, survive their evil twins, traverse the shadow realm, and destroy a rampaging monster; all while tripping over, getting lucky, or taking naps – whatever works!
They learn how to set aside their differences and grapple with life’s big questions such as; can you trust your perception of reality, is chasing after love a noble pursuit, what are the metaphysics of luck, and do frogs taste better than chickens?
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THE ACADEMIC<br />
outside their doors.<br />
A few guys from the University's Furpletromp team, men who Rendle<br />
thought were uninteresting slogs who only ever talked about that awful game,<br />
stood near the beautiful, the perfect, the wonderful, Pearlith Manasby; who<br />
giggled at something one of them said.<br />
Her gorgeous smile, long eyelashes, slender nose, moist plump lips, <strong>and</strong><br />
brown curly hair, enchanted Rendle the first moment he saw her nearly five years<br />
ago when he arrived to register for classes. A day he remembered well.<br />
He had just jumped off the back of the poultry wagon that a farmer was kind<br />
enough to let him hitch a ride in, shook away the pieces of hay <strong>and</strong> chicken<br />
smell, <strong>and</strong> strode confidently to the front gate. The beautiful Pearlith was up<br />
ahead on the road, stepping out of her family's luxurious stage coach led by a<br />
dozen black horses. She wore a flowing red gown <strong>and</strong> a large red lace hat that<br />
shimmered a fiery gold, which wowed several onlookers. Rendle would have<br />
introduced himself, but a crowd of people blocked his way <strong>and</strong> her entourage<br />
kept everyone at arms length. No matter, he had five years to masterfully woo<br />
her, so he didn't have to be hasty.<br />
Knowing by instinct alone he was destined to marry her, have lots of<br />
children, <strong>and</strong> live in the countryside in a cottage – preferably near a swamp so he<br />
can create a refuge for amphibians – Rendle set his plan of undying love into<br />
motion. He put h<strong>and</strong>written notes within the pages of her textbooks, shadowed<br />
her steps at night to make sure she was safe, <strong>and</strong> spread flower petals near the<br />
places she frequented. These flowers were already plucked so using their petals<br />
was perfectly fine since they didn't go to waste <strong>and</strong> were sacrificed for the noble<br />
pursuit of true love.<br />
He performed these selfless acts for a grueling four <strong>and</strong> a half years, but the<br />
end was near, since the DresMerden Gathering was fast approaching. In only a<br />
few short months, the entire graduating class would descend upon a large private<br />
garden to celebrate their hard earned diplomas. Alcohol would be drunk,<br />
longtime rivals would become allies, underwear would be used as hats, <strong>and</strong><br />
lovers would share an intimate embrace. Not only was this the biggest party of<br />
the year, it was also the final piece of Rendle's plan to forever secure Pearlith's<br />
heart.<br />
He planned to hire musicians to play her favorite song, <strong>and</strong> at the song's<br />
climax, he would materialize in a puff of smoke <strong>and</strong> sparkles, go to one knee, <strong>and</strong><br />
reveal to her that it was he who had been doing all these romantic gestures. She<br />
would naturally fall into a passionate devoted love <strong>and</strong> they would live happily<br />
ever after. The plan was flawless, as far as Rendle was concerned, unless he was<br />
prematurely kicked out of the university for failing botany.<br />
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