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Weeds Meads and Steeds PDF

After an alcoholic wizard accidentally curses a forest, it’s up to a group of misfit adventurers to set things right. There’s Dranden, a saddle maker wanting to boost his business; Belfast, a ruggedly handsome man who is also dangerously clumsy; Toble, a smelly, disgusting goblin who wants to do some good with his miserable, wretched existence; Rendle, a dull-witted academic who’s entirely obsessed with amphibians; and finally Zelendra, a half-elf priestess who ran away from home in search of true love. But their relatively easy quest of chopping down an infected tree quickly turns dangerous as they uncover a deeply sinister plot that’s bigger and far more ancient than any of them could imagine. With the entire kingdom at risk these brave souls must battle an ice elemental, survive their evil twins, traverse the shadow realm, and destroy a rampaging monster; all while tripping over, getting lucky, or taking naps – whatever works! They learn how to set aside their differences and grapple with life’s big questions such as; can you trust your perception of reality, is chasing after love a noble pursuit, what are the metaphysics of luck, and do frogs taste better than chickens?

After an alcoholic wizard accidentally curses a forest, it’s up to a group of misfit adventurers to set things right. There’s Dranden, a saddle maker wanting to boost his business; Belfast, a ruggedly handsome man who is also dangerously clumsy; Toble, a smelly, disgusting goblin who wants to do some good with his miserable, wretched existence; Rendle, a dull-witted academic who’s entirely obsessed with amphibians; and finally Zelendra, a half-elf priestess who ran away from home in search of true love.

But their relatively easy quest of chopping down an infected tree quickly turns dangerous as they uncover a deeply sinister plot that’s bigger and far more ancient than any of them could imagine. With the entire kingdom at risk these brave souls must battle an ice elemental, survive their evil twins, traverse the shadow realm, and destroy a rampaging monster; all while tripping over, getting lucky, or taking naps – whatever works!

They learn how to set aside their differences and grapple with life’s big questions such as; can you trust your perception of reality, is chasing after love a noble pursuit, what are the metaphysics of luck, and do frogs taste better than chickens?

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W E EDS, MEA DS, & S T EEDS<br />

Kicking at their horses, they rode at a quickened pace across rolling hills<br />

that undulated up <strong>and</strong> down like a vast green ocean stuck in time. Every time<br />

they strode over the pinnacle of a hill, farms appeared in the distance. They had<br />

crops of wheat <strong>and</strong> barley, fruits <strong>and</strong> vegetables, or pastures for animals to graze<br />

upon.<br />

Dr<strong>and</strong>en slowly remembered learning about this place from a long lost<br />

school lesson as a boy; that the l<strong>and</strong>s were incredibly fertile, able to grow ten<br />

times the amount of food than normal. The only problem was how remote this<br />

part of the world was, that siphoning those resources was made extremely<br />

difficult by the terrain. Also, the people here were very protective of their l<strong>and</strong>s,<br />

controlling exactly what could be used <strong>and</strong> what was off limits. “Regulating<br />

everything down to the very blades of grass”, as his school teacher put it.<br />

Dr<strong>and</strong>en overheard at the bar that merchants were the primary travelers to<br />

this remote kingdom, <strong>and</strong> also the very rich who wanted an exotic vacation to<br />

brag to their friends. The l<strong>and</strong> was considered by them “untouched by the perils<br />

of modern life” <strong>and</strong> that it still contained the charm of ancient magic when it was<br />

boundless <strong>and</strong> free, but also fraught with hidden danger <strong>and</strong> an unsettling,<br />

unquenchable darkness.<br />

“I think I remember hearing about Tallamoor fertilizer,” Dr<strong>and</strong>en said to the<br />

others, still trotting along at a brisk pace, “especially when I was at the height of<br />

desperation with fixing my lawn. But it was far too expensive <strong>and</strong> was only<br />

traded in my kingdom's capital city by less than savory groups of people.”<br />

“It's expensive because it's highly regulated.” Belfast nodded in recollection.<br />

“I'm familiar with it because the farms near my home town use it to boost their<br />

crops. But the unscrupulous can use it for warfare rather than growing food.”<br />

“This place must be very remote,” Dr<strong>and</strong>en continued, “ because I can't ever<br />

remember meeting anyone who came from here, or even someone who simply<br />

traveled here. I was never any good with maps or geography. How far north are<br />

we?”<br />

“We are very far north from where we were.” Zelendra answered, feeling<br />

better from earlier. She quietly fixed up her appearance as they rode. “It's a good<br />

thing we used the portal or we would have spent the rest of the year trying to get<br />

here <strong>and</strong> trying to leave.”<br />

After the midday sun crossed overhead, the l<strong>and</strong>scape around them<br />

dramatically shifted from rolling green hills, to jagged rocks that jutted from the<br />

ground. The sharp rocks went up several stories high <strong>and</strong> spread out across the<br />

length of many fields. Their path, which was made from beaten dirt, shifted into<br />

gravel <strong>and</strong> large stones. These were remnants that had fallen from the heights<br />

constantly surrounding <strong>and</strong> towering above them.<br />

138

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