Weeds Meads and Steeds PDF
After an alcoholic wizard accidentally curses a forest, it’s up to a group of misfit adventurers to set things right. There’s Dranden, a saddle maker wanting to boost his business; Belfast, a ruggedly handsome man who is also dangerously clumsy; Toble, a smelly, disgusting goblin who wants to do some good with his miserable, wretched existence; Rendle, a dull-witted academic who’s entirely obsessed with amphibians; and finally Zelendra, a half-elf priestess who ran away from home in search of true love. But their relatively easy quest of chopping down an infected tree quickly turns dangerous as they uncover a deeply sinister plot that’s bigger and far more ancient than any of them could imagine. With the entire kingdom at risk these brave souls must battle an ice elemental, survive their evil twins, traverse the shadow realm, and destroy a rampaging monster; all while tripping over, getting lucky, or taking naps – whatever works! They learn how to set aside their differences and grapple with life’s big questions such as; can you trust your perception of reality, is chasing after love a noble pursuit, what are the metaphysics of luck, and do frogs taste better than chickens?
After an alcoholic wizard accidentally curses a forest, it’s up to a group of misfit adventurers to set things right. There’s Dranden, a saddle maker wanting to boost his business; Belfast, a ruggedly handsome man who is also dangerously clumsy; Toble, a smelly, disgusting goblin who wants to do some good with his miserable, wretched existence; Rendle, a dull-witted academic who’s entirely obsessed with amphibians; and finally Zelendra, a half-elf priestess who ran away from home in search of true love.
But their relatively easy quest of chopping down an infected tree quickly turns dangerous as they uncover a deeply sinister plot that’s bigger and far more ancient than any of them could imagine. With the entire kingdom at risk these brave souls must battle an ice elemental, survive their evil twins, traverse the shadow realm, and destroy a rampaging monster; all while tripping over, getting lucky, or taking naps – whatever works!
They learn how to set aside their differences and grapple with life’s big questions such as; can you trust your perception of reality, is chasing after love a noble pursuit, what are the metaphysics of luck, and do frogs taste better than chickens?
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Chapter 6<br />
Toble the Goblin<br />
They'll bite your toes, jab your nuts,<br />
Slice your throat <strong>and</strong> spill your guts,<br />
They stalk the road where money goes<br />
The only path a goblin knows<br />
- Traveling merchant song, “Beware of goblins”<br />
Licking his dry tongue around his parched mouth <strong>and</strong> chapped lips, Toble<br />
the goblin felt like he was rubbing hardened leather against the bark of a<br />
rough tree. He was famished <strong>and</strong> dehydrated, <strong>and</strong> so was the group of<br />
b<strong>and</strong>its he took company with, which consisted of two other goblins <strong>and</strong> two<br />
orcs. The relentless summer sun scorched the b<strong>and</strong>it's patchwork tents <strong>and</strong><br />
equipment, <strong>and</strong> darkened their normally bright green skin to an olive brown.<br />
Their makeshift encampment overlooked a narrow rocky gorge just at the<br />
northern edge of the Hallowed Steps mountain range; a place that separated the<br />
eastern <strong>and</strong> western kingdoms. This particular spot was a popular shortcut for<br />
unscrupulous merchants who wanted to avoid taxation <strong>and</strong> the inspection of<br />
authorities that occurred on the highways. Chicken farmers, sheep herders, fur<br />
traders, exotic furniture dealers, <strong>and</strong> needle-point therapists, have all made their<br />
way through here just to be ransacked. Humans, their pets, <strong>and</strong> their livestock, all<br />
cooked well <strong>and</strong> were delicious, but there hadn't been any wayfarers for weeks,<br />
nor any rain.<br />
Toble was the lowest ranking member of the group <strong>and</strong> also the scrawniest,<br />
but that didn't matter since none of them were well-fed at the moment. Goblins<br />
were typically short, averaging half the height of a human, but their oversized<br />
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