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Signs of the Times, Book 1 - Ellen G. White

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"Many times in those childish days, I was made to feel my misfortune<br />

keenly. My feelings were unusually sensitive and caused me great<br />

unhappiness. Often with a wounded pride, mortified and wretched in spirit,<br />

have I sought a lonely place and gloomily contemplated <strong>the</strong> trials I was daily<br />

doomed to bear.<br />

"I had not <strong>the</strong> relief <strong>of</strong> tears, for I could not weep readily as could my<br />

twin sister, so, though my heart was heavy and ached as if it were breaking, I<br />

could not shed a tear. I <strong>of</strong>ten felt that it would greatly relieve me to weep<br />

away my overcharged feelings. Sometimes <strong>the</strong> kindly sympathy <strong>of</strong> friends<br />

banished my gloom and removed, for a time, <strong>the</strong> leaden weight that<br />

oppressed my heart. How vain and empty seemed <strong>the</strong> pleasures <strong>of</strong> earth to<br />

me <strong>the</strong>n! How changeable <strong>the</strong> friendships <strong>of</strong> my young companions! yet<br />

<strong>the</strong>se little schoolmates were not unlike a majority <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> great world's<br />

people. A pretty face, a handsome dress attracts <strong>the</strong>m, but let misfortune take<br />

<strong>the</strong>se away and <strong>the</strong> fragile friendship grows cold or is broken. But when I<br />

turned to my Saviour, he comforted me. I sought <strong>the</strong> Lord earnestly in my<br />

trouble and received consolation, for I believed that Jesus loved even me.<br />

"My health seemed to be completely shattered. For two years I could not<br />

brea<strong>the</strong> through my nose, and was able to attend school but little. It seemed<br />

impossible for me to study and retain what I learned. The same girl who was<br />

<strong>the</strong> cause <strong>of</strong> my misfortune, was appointed monitor by our teacher, and it<br />

was among her duties to assist me in my writing and o<strong>the</strong>r lessons. She<br />

always seemed sincerely sorry for <strong>the</strong> great injury she had done me, although<br />

I was careful not to remind her <strong>of</strong> it. She was tender and patient with me, and<br />

seemed sad and thoughtful as she saw me laboring, under serious<br />

disadvantages, to get an education.<br />

"My nervous system was prostrated, and my hand trembled so that I<br />

made but little progress in writing and could get no far<strong>the</strong>r than <strong>the</strong> simple<br />

copies in coarse hand. As I endeavored to bend my mind to my studies, <strong>the</strong><br />

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