Signs of the Times, Book 1 - Ellen G. White

My sufferings of mind were intense. Sometimes for a whole night I
would not dare to close my eyes, but would wait until my twin sister was fast
asleep, then quietly leave my bed and kneel upon the floor, praying silently
with a dumb agony that cannot be described. The horrors of an eternally
burning hell were ever before me. I knew that it was impossible for me to
live long in this state, and I dared not die and meet the terrible fate of the
sinner. With what envy did I regard those who realized their acceptance with
God. How precious did the Christian's hope seem to my agonized soul.
I frequently remained bowed in prayer nearly all night, groaning and
trembling with inexpressible anguish and hopelessness that passes all
description. Lord have mercy! was my plea, and, like the poor publican, I
dared not lift my eyes to Heaven but bowed my face upon the floor. I became
very much reduced in flesh and strength, yet kept my suffering and despair to
myself.
While in this state of despondency, I had a dream that made a powerful
impression upon my mind, but in no wise lifted the vail of melancholy that
darkened my life. I dreamed that I saw a temple, to which many people were
flocking. Only those who took refuge in that temple would be saved when
time should close. All who remained outside would be forever lost. The
multitudes without who were going about their various ways, were deriding
and ridiculing those who were entering the temple, and told them that this
plan of safety was a cunning deception, that in fact there was no danger
whatever to avoid. They even laid hold of some to prevent them from
hastening within the walls.
Fearing to be laughed at and ridiculed, I thought best to wait until the
multitude were dispersed or until I could enter unobserved by them. But the
numbers increased instead of diminishing, and fearful of being too late, I
hastily left my home and pressed through the crowd. In my anxiety to reach
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