Happiful January 2020

Five lessons I learned from
experiencing burnout
Overwhelmed by your workload? Stressed by the smallest tasks? Pushing
yourself too hard to reach the top? Maybe it’s time to put your health and
happiness above simple success at the office
Writing | Fiona Thomas
lay in bed, struggling to wake.
I was tired from the evening
before. Had I eaten dinner? No.
I’d had a bottle of wine instead,
to relax. A few days earlier during
a driving lesson, I had driven on
the wrong side of the road. I didn’t
know why. On that same day, I had
screamed at a work colleague over
something insignificant – something
about tomatoes – and had to
apologise later.
I thought about the busy morning
ahead. I wanted to recoil from all
my work responsibilities, but I
couldn’t see a way out. I fantasised
about falling down the stairs or
being hit by a car. Anything that
would incapacitate me and give me
some time off work.
Two hours later I sat at my desk to
work through my list of tasks, but I
couldn’t get started. I couldn’t attend
the meeting. I couldn’t pick up the
phone. I couldn’t face my team. I
hid in the toilets and cried for what
seemed like hours, then I phoned
my GP and made an appointment.
It turned out that I been
unknowingly living with burnout
for more than six months. My
symptoms included (but were not
limited to) agitation, tearfulness,
physical and mental exhaustion,
frustration, and a sense of
hopelessness. But through this
difficult time, I can now take some
positives in what I’ve learned from
living with burnout…
1 Being off sick doesn’t mean you
are bad at your job
I first started feeling the symptoms
long before I asked for help, and
the main reason I avoided reaching
out was that I didn’t realise it was
a health issue – I thought it was a
competency issue. I thought that
I was overwhelmed and stressed
because I was under-qualified.
But after taking three months of
sick leave, I attempted to return to
work and I couldn’t carry out even
the simplest of tasks. That was
proof that there was something
medically wrong with me. I then
knew for sure that my brain wasn’t
functioning normally, and I found
that strangely comforting.
2 You’ve got to vocalise your
issues in the workplace
During the six months that I was
quietly crumbling away, I thought
it was obvious to everyone around
me. After an extended period of
sick leave, I was asked to meet my
employers to discuss what had
been going on. It was only then
that I realised they had no idea
how much I had on my plate. I
couldn’t really complain about
the lack of support, because I
hadn’t given the slightest hint
that I needed any. You’ve got to be
explicit when you need support,
and chase down your employers
to help manage your workload.
Otherwise, you’re doing yourself a
disservice.
3 Work achievements aren’t
everything
Burnout hit me hardest after I took
on a lot of extra responsibility at
work. No one forced me to step
into the role; I wanted to prove to
my employers that I was capable. I
pushed myself because I wanted to
be a high achiever. When burnout
took over, depression and anxiety
quickly followed, and I quit my
job to focus on recovery. It was
only then I figured out that work
achievements are no substitute for
health and happiness.
26 • happiful.com • January 2020