Happiful January 2020

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£57 £40 ENTER CODE: HAPPINY AT THE CHECKOUT Reader offer Get two months free on an annual subscription using code HAPPINY at shop.happiful.com Prices and benefits are correct at the time of printing, using code HAPPINY, which expires on 20 February 2020. For full terms and conditions, please visit happiful.com 54 • happiful.com • November 2019
TRUE LIFE In memory of my son, Colin... Losing someone to suicide can be a pain like no other, and for Lyn Walton-McPhee, she was left with so many unanswered questions. But through her grief, and her own mental health struggles, Lyn is striving to be a voice for change Writing | Lyn Walton-McPhee Up until 26 October 2014, my life was going swimmingly. I had three grown up children, and a grandson. I had worked for 20 years in mental health and challenging behaviour as a carer, and then deputy manager. I’d recently gone into a business partnership and became self-employed, opening a new domiciliary care company. My son Colin was proud of what I was doing, and he regularly told me that. He would visit when he could, as he was married and he worked hard. We’d often chat about this and that going on in both our lives, but nothing came up that I could identify a major concern – yet I did have some concerns as a mother. I felt that he always looked fatigued, and never smiled the way he used to. He put it down to work and tiredness and, I now believe for my benefit, would perk up so that mother wouldn’t ask more questions. However, something didn’t sit right with me, and I began to worry. He got himself into scrapes he would never have been involved with before and, although encouraged, he refused to talk about what was going on. He admitted his home life wasn’t great, and I told him if he ever wanted to come home to get away from some of his marriage difficulties the door was always open. He loved spending time once a week with his nephew, who has autism and challenging behaviour. He helped pensioners with their gardens and fencing, which he enjoyed, so nothing alerted me to any specific mental health issues. The police knocked on our door at 4.20am on 26 October 2014. I hadn’t heard the knock, so my husband answered. I heard male voices, so got up, grabbed my dressing gown, and headed out of the bedroom. My husband met me and told me it was the police. >>> January 2020 • happiful.com • 55
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Happiful January 2020

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