Happiful March 2020
Create successful ePaper yourself
Turn your PDF publications into a flip-book with our unique Google optimized e-Paper software.
THE PUKKA<br />
ROUTE TO<br />
HAPPILY<br />
EVER AFTER<br />
How are you? Who are you?’ We<br />
have lost each other so very much<br />
in the last few years, because we<br />
haven’t checked in enough in this<br />
pursuit of the bigger, the better,<br />
the faster, the richer.”<br />
3 STRIKE A BALANCE BETWEEN<br />
BEING SUPPORTIVE AND<br />
OVER-DEPENDENT<br />
“One of the things we learned is<br />
the huge value in being able to<br />
bugger off and be by yourself,”<br />
says Matt. “Everyone needs a<br />
little bit of time in their own<br />
head and you don’t often get that,<br />
especially in a family set-up.<br />
Creating a bit of space purely for<br />
you, whether through exercise,<br />
going to a museum or watching a<br />
film, is incredibly important for<br />
helping you appreciate the time<br />
you do have with your partner.”<br />
1 EMBRACE THE MUNDANE<br />
“Realise that the mundane is the<br />
happy ever after, that the banal<br />
cheese and pickle sandwich, and a<br />
cheeky bum squeeze by the fridge,<br />
are the things to celebrate, not big<br />
romantic dinners where there’s so<br />
much pressure to have the perfect<br />
date,” advises Anna. “Stop chasing<br />
what Google wants you to find,<br />
what Getty Images are telling you<br />
love looks like. Stop looking for<br />
that Disney happy ever after.”<br />
2 CHOOSE YOUR WORDS<br />
CAREFULLY<br />
“It’s easy to stop trying when<br />
you’ve been with someone for a<br />
while,” admits Matt. “It’s worth<br />
stopping to think: ‘If I was to give<br />
my best self to this person, what<br />
would that look like, and what<br />
would I be doing?’”<br />
“Be vocal about your needs,”<br />
adds Anna. “I recently said to<br />
Matt, ‘I just need you to ask me<br />
sometimes, ‘How was your day?<br />
4 FIND YOUR ‘SOMETHING'<br />
“When one person feels like<br />
they’ve lost themselves, maybe<br />
after giving up their career,<br />
there’s often a sense of ‘who am I<br />
now?’ For a healthy relationship<br />
with yourself and with your<br />
partner, you have to have that<br />
something,” says Anna. “The<br />
minute I stopped putting heavy<br />
expectations on other humans<br />
in my life to fix me and make<br />
me happy was when – through<br />
writing this book – I found<br />
happiness. It was such a simple<br />
shift.”<br />
5 WORSHIP YOUR PARTNER AS<br />
MUCH AS THE KIDS<br />
“A psychiatrist I spoke to said<br />
problems creep into relationships<br />
when parents worship their<br />
children in a way that they don’t<br />
any more worship their partner,”<br />
explains Matt. “What kids need to<br />
78 • happiful.com • <strong>March</strong> <strong>2020</strong>
Change language