Me-Before-You-by-Jojo-Moyes

17
The worst thing about working as a carer is not what you might think. It’s not the
lifting and cleaning, the medicines and wipes and the distant but somehow
always perceptible smell of disinfectant. It’s not even the fact that most people
assume you’re only doing it because you really aren’t smart enough to do
anything else. It’s the fact that when you spend all day in really close proximity
to someone, there is no escape from their moods. Or your own.
Will had been distant with me all morning, since I had first told him my plans.
It was nothing an outsider could have put their finger on, but there were fewer
jokes, perhaps less casual conversation. He asked me nothing about the contents
of the day’s newspapers.
‘That’s … what you want to do?’ His eyes had flickered, but his face betrayed
nothing.
I shrugged. Then I nodded more emphatically. I felt there was something
childishly non-committal about my response. ‘It’s about time, really,’ I said. ‘I
mean, I am twenty-seven.’
He studied my face. Something tightened in his jaw.
I felt suddenly, unbearably tired. I felt this peculiar urge to say sorry, and I
wasn’t sure what for.
He gave a little nod, raised a smile. ‘Glad you’ve got it all sorted out,’ he said,
and wheeled himself into the kitchen.
I was starting to feel really cross with him. I had never felt judged by anyone
as I felt judged by Will now. It was as if me deciding to settle down with my
boyfriend had made me less interesting to him. Like I could no longer be his pet
project. I couldn’t say any of this to him, of course, but I was just as cool with
him as he was with me.
It was, frankly, exhausting.