Me-Before-You-by-Jojo-Moyes

‘I’m sorry,’ I said, looking up, my face contorted. ‘I’m sorry. I can’t … do it.’
He lifted his arm a couple of inches – the maximum he could manage. ‘Oh
Jesus, what the – ? Come here, Clark. He moved forward, then glanced down at
his arm in frustration. ‘Bloody useless thing … It’s okay. Just breathe. Come
here. Just breathe. Slowly.’
I wiped my eyes. At the sight of him, the panic had begun to subside. I stood
up, unsteadily, and tried to straighten my face. ‘I’m sorry. I … don’t know what
happened.’
‘Are you claustrophobic?’ His face, inches from mine, was etched with worry.
‘I could see you didn’t want to go in. I just … I just thought you were being –’
I shut my eyes. ‘I just want to go now.’
‘Hold on to my hand. We’ll go out.’
He had me out of there within minutes. He knew the maze backwards, he told
me as we walked, his voice calm, reassuring. It had been a challenge for him as a
boy to learn his way through. I entwined my fingers with his and felt the warmth
of his hand as something comforting. I felt foolish when I realized how close to
the entrance I had been all along.
We stopped at a bench just outside, and I rummaged in the back of his chair
for a tissue. We sat there in silence, me on the end of the bench beside him, both
of us waiting for my hiccoughing to subside.
He sat, sneaking sideways glances at me.
‘So … ?’ he said, finally, when I must have looked as if I could speak without
falling apart again. ‘You want to tell me what’s going on?’
I twisted the tissue in my hands. ‘I can’t.’
He closed his mouth.
I swallowed. ‘It’s not you,’ I said, hurriedly. ‘I haven’t talked to anyone
about … It’s … it’s stupid. And a long time ago. I didn’t think … I would … ’
I felt his eyes on me, and wished he wouldn’t look. My hands wouldn’t stop
trembling, and my stomach felt as if it were made of a million knots.
I shook my head, trying to tell him that there were things I couldn’t say. I
wanted to reach for his hand again, but I didn’t feel I could. I was conscious of
his gaze, could almost hear his unspoken questions.
Below us, two cars had pulled up near the gates. Two figures got out – from
here it was impossible to see who – and embraced. They stood there for a few