Focus on the Family Magazine - April/May 2020
It can be a struggle to raise a family while balancing your work life, social life and relationships. Focus on the Family magazine is here to help! Each complimentary issue delivers fresh, practical Biblical guidance on family and life topics. Every issue comes packed with relevant advice to build up your kids, strengthen your marriage, navigate entertainment and culture, and handle common challenges you may face in your marriage and parenting journeys. Plus you'll find seasonal advice ranging from back-to-school activities to date night tips for you and your spouse.
It can be a struggle to raise a family while balancing your work life, social life and relationships. Focus on the Family magazine is here to help! Each complimentary issue delivers fresh, practical Biblical guidance on family and life topics.
Every issue comes packed with relevant advice to build up your kids, strengthen your marriage, navigate entertainment and culture, and handle common challenges you may face in your marriage and parenting journeys. Plus you'll find seasonal advice ranging from back-to-school activities to date night tips for you and your spouse.
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COuPLES / MARRIAGE HOPE<br />
Find hope for your marriage<br />
BY KAREN SCALF BOUCHARD<br />
“I FEEL STUCK AND BROKEN,<br />
and <strong>the</strong>re’s no way out.” Amanda’s*<br />
eyes filled with tears as she whispered<br />
her painful secret to her best friend.<br />
In <strong>the</strong> background, Amanda’s children<br />
laughed as <strong>the</strong>y played in <strong>the</strong><br />
fast-food restaurant’s climbing area.<br />
“You’re seeing that new counselor<br />
tomorrow, right? <strong>May</strong>be she’ll have<br />
some ideas,” Lauren suggested.<br />
“<strong>May</strong>be,” Amanda c<strong>on</strong>ceded, but<br />
her voice was hollow.<br />
For years, Amanda had tried to cope<br />
in a hostile marriage devoid of love<br />
or kindness. But nothing had helped.<br />
She felt more depressed, hopeless and<br />
exhausted than ever before.<br />
Some days she could barely get<br />
out of bed.<br />
While we often praise people<br />
who learn how to adapt and cope in<br />
difficult circumstances, clinical psychologist<br />
David Hawkins paints a<br />
stark picture of what that can look<br />
like for a wife or a husband in a<br />
toxic marriage.<br />
Dr. Hawkins is director of <strong>the</strong><br />
Seattle-based Marriage Recovery<br />
Center and a leader in <strong>the</strong> field of<br />
treatment for narcissism and<br />
emoti<strong>on</strong>al abuse within relati<strong>on</strong>ships.<br />
“I see many couples in chr<strong>on</strong>ically<br />
troubled marriages staying toge<strong>the</strong>r<br />
because <strong>the</strong>y’ve got kids, because<br />
<strong>the</strong>y believe in marriage, for many<br />
different good and valid reas<strong>on</strong>s,” he<br />
explains. “But when a woman feels<br />
unsafe because she’s criticized or<br />
belittled—and she can’t bring issues<br />
to her husband because he blames,<br />
shames, provokes or gaslights—<br />
<strong>the</strong> goodness of <strong>the</strong> relati<strong>on</strong>ship<br />
begins to evaporate. Women end up<br />
retreating from emoti<strong>on</strong>al or physical<br />
intimacy. They shrink. They<br />
12<br />
FOCUS ON THE FAMILY<br />
<strong>April</strong> / <strong>May</strong> <strong>2020</strong>
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