Focus on the Family Magazine - April/May 2020

HACKS & FACTS / SIBLINGS
Taking a Break From Bickering
My two youngest children were born 18 months apart. During their preschool
years, they bickered a lot. One day in the car, to stop my children
from bickering, I said, “Robert, look out your window,” and “Kristin, look
out of yours!”
To my surprise, it worked! They grew interested in what was going
past them out their respective windows and were given the needed
break from each other. Eventually I would tell them it was OK to look at
each other again, and they were fine.
—Harriet E. Michael
Training Kids to Be Friends
My husband and I trained our daughters to be friends by:
1. <strong>Focus</strong>ing on the positive qualities of their relationship.
If one did something thoughtful for the other, it was
announced and praised.
2. Teaching them to ask before borrowing something
and to respect each other’s privacy.
3. Treating them as equals, not favoring one over the
other.
—Jennifer S. Shiakallis
Squelch the Belch
In my house, a burp elicits the response,
“What do you say?” All of the kids know
the answer: “Excuse me.”
To help my kids not be rude or make
a cutting comment to their siblings, I
give them the same response: “What
do you say?”
The first time I did this, confusion
spread across my son’s face.
My son insisted, “But I didn’t burp.”
I told him that the words we speak
to our siblings come from the overflow
of what’s in our heart (Luke 6:45).
It’s hard to contain what’s in our heart.
Burps are pretty disgusting, and so
are hurtful words. My kids understood
the point and are reminded of it again
every time they have to say “Excuse
me” to each other.
—Jared Hottenstein
Respectfully Communicating
Teaching my tweens how to communicate respectfully started
with us, their parents. For example, if I asked my daughter to do
something extra for me when she was swamped with homework,
she could say, “May I add more information?” Then she could tell
me about the extra homework she had or why she couldn’t do
what I asked at that moment.
I also taught my kids to use similar respectful comments when
communicating with each other. Obviously, it’s impossible to
expect children to never argue and always communicate like polite
adults, but it’s a valuable life lesson to help them use civil language
and reason together with mutual respect.
—Tannis Oliveri
CREDIT STOCKSY.COM TK / JESSE CHAMBERLIN
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FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
April / May 2020