SandScript 2020

Myryam Roxana Freeman
Contemplation
Photograph, 8”x10”
primarily frequented by heterosexuals.
They haven’t thought about it because they
don’t have to. They just enjoy the bar and
the drinks are cheap. They’ve never really
had to think about what the target audience
is, but the target audience isn’t you.
Later, when you get to the bar, you
order an old fashioned. The bartender gives
you a quick look of surprise. He thought a
boy who looks like you wouldn’t want such
a manly drink. You don’t say anything. You
give him your card to leave a tab open. You
know from experience when you’re dressed
the way you are in a place like this, you
might need more than one drink to really
feel comfortable.
One of your friends comes and finds
you, they want to introduce you to some
coworkers they have. You approach the
group of people and smile, give them your
name. They smile back and tell you their
names, but you don’t register what they
are because you’re too busy shaking their
hands, making sure you have a firm grip
like your father taught you. Every time you
shake someone’s hand, you remember when
you learned that a firm handshake shows
you’re proud of who you are, that you have
confidence. When you learned that no son
of your father’s would be a pussy boy with a
limp handshake.
“This is my gay best friend,” you
hear your friend say and you feel the
familiar sting of the label, but you brush it
off again. Sometimes you wish you could
just be someone’s best friend, but it always
feels like you’re required to put gay as the
identifier.
“You have to tell them about what
happened at your job the other day,” your
friend says.
“About my nails?” You look down
at your hands where you had recently
removed acrylics. The nails still have the
dried dust and glue on them. It won’t go
away until the nail has grown enough.
“Yes! I cannot believe they pulled
that.”
The boy and girl stare at you, waiting
for you to let them in on the story.
“Well, essentially what happened
was they gave me a paper saying I needed
to remove my acrylic nails because they
were against health code,” you begin the
story. You feel like you’ve told it a hundred
VISUAL ART
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