SandScript 2020

same four songs blending together into a
creamy mix of bandolas and violins. I didn’t
like being alone in the sweltering kitchen
waiting for customers. I wanted to be out
there with her.
I finished washing the last dish
and felt the familiar buzzing in the back
of my head and snuck out the back for a
quick smoke. I didn’t bother to wash the
grease off my hands, just wiped them on my
apron, and sat down on the curb behind the
restaurant, scraping at the asphalt with the
bottoms of my boots. I liked the alleyway. It
was a nice break from the rowdy restaurant.
It was dark and quiet, lit only by a dim
yellow street light.
I fished around in my pockets for a
lighter and let my back slump against the
exterior wall. I took a few drags, let my
mind drift. I found myself thinking about
Kelly, as I often do. On weeknights, she has
to bus tables as well as waitress, so she gets
a little dirtier. She wears less makeup, and
under the smell of her flowery perfume,
there’s a tinge of sweat. I couldn’t help but
think about the lines around her eyes when
she smiles or how she hums softly along
with the radio while wiping down tables.
My fingertips felt tingly, and there was a
fluttering deep in my belly. Instinctively my
eyes shut, and I imagined, for a moment,
that she’s humming to me, and for just a
second, I didn’t feel so alone. Then I heard
Tony’s boisterous laugh coming from the
kitchen.
I took another drag before discarding
my cigarette on the ground and stamping
it out with my heel. My feet felt heavy as I
dragged myself back to the kitchen.
When I stepped back inside, I saw
Kelly laughing with Tony out in the dining
room. She was curled up in one of our
cracked leather booths that lined the wall.
She swatted at his arm, playfully, and stood
up to wander over to help a customer. My
eyes trailed along behind her as she walked.
I tried to focus on dicing the bright red
bell peppers, but they reminded me of her
lipstick from Friday night.
“Carmen, what the hell are you
doing? You’re bleeding!”
Tony came up from behind me and
clapped me hard on the back. I looked down
and saw the blood dripping on to the cutting
board. “I’m so sorry, Tony. I didn’t—I wasn’t
paying attention.”
I scraped the peppers into the
overflowing trash and tossed the dirty
cutting board into the sink. Tony looked out
at the dining area toward Kelly and looked
back at me.
“You know, I was talking to Kelly
earlier, and she plays for your team,” he said,
winking at me, “you should try talking to
her, Mija.”
I rolled my eyes, but my palms were
suddenly sweaty. It’s hard to keep a secret
here, especially since you could tell just
by looking at me. Short hair, boyish, and
awkward everything about me screamed it.
Kelly must know, so why didn’t she tell me
she was different like me? Why didn’t she
tell me she liked girls too? The thought of
not being so alone excited me.
The night trudged on, and I thought
more about what Tony said. My work
got sloppier. When Kelly handed me an
order ticket, I got caught up in her loopy
handwriting. The words melted into a note
for me. Once I started thinking about us
FICTION
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