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making this an issue for people of all<br />
genders and sexualities. Men are raised<br />
with the mindset that masculinity means<br />
being strong and emotionally guarded.<br />
They’re expected to be too tough for<br />
sexual abuse to affect them or be a<br />
problem—all sex is good sex, right? This<br />
dismissive attitude toward the emotional<br />
trauma that many men and boys suffer<br />
through makes it incredibly difficult for<br />
them to come forward about their abuse.<br />
Fortunately, as people grow more aware<br />
of the dangers of hypermasculinity, male<br />
victims of sexual assault and domestic<br />
abuse are validated and encouraged to<br />
share their stories. If we have any hope<br />
of ending the cycle of people in power<br />
exerting their authority inappropriately<br />
over those with little to no platform,<br />
we must resolve to hear the voices of<br />
all the abused—regardless of societal<br />
preconceptions and biases.<br />
With 4,774,000 women experiencing<br />
physical violence from a partner each<br />
year, domestic violence is an epidemic<br />
all its own. It’s often difficult to figure<br />
out the line between regular arguing and<br />
emotional abuse. Even physical abuse,<br />
which is generally easier to distinguish,<br />
can be tough to quantify. Seeing as many<br />
abusive relationships start well and sour<br />
gradually, people often fail to realize<br />
they’re in trouble until it’s too late.<br />
Luckily, as more and more people take<br />
to social media to share their stories, it<br />
is getting easier to recognize warning<br />
signs that might be flashing in your own<br />
relationship when others talk about<br />
where theirs went wrong.<br />
The longstanding culture of ignoring<br />
sexual abuse and domestic violence only<br />
feeds the problem. When it looks like no<br />
one else is going through what you’re<br />
going through, it’s too easy to convince<br />
yourself that your situation isn’t that<br />
bad and maybe you shouldn’t be so<br />
dramatic—but that simply isn’t the case.<br />
These things can happen to any person<br />
at any time.<br />
So what can you do? Don’t shame<br />
victims for not wanting to come forward<br />
about their abuse. It’s true that an<br />
accusation might keep the perpetrator<br />
from being able to hurt others, but that<br />
isn’t a burden any victim should be<br />
forced to carry. For many, the idea of<br />
seeking justice is terrifying because of<br />
the unfortunate reality that many law<br />
enforcement agencies are dismissive<br />
of sexual assault allegations. There’s<br />
also the intimidating fact that many<br />
are reluctant to believe a good friend<br />
could be capable of such an awful act.<br />
If someone feels safe enough to confide<br />
in you about what they’ve suffered,<br />
listen to them, offer options like going<br />
to the police or a crisis center if asked,<br />
promise to support them in whatever<br />
they decide, and above all, believe them.<br />
There is nothing to be gained from lying<br />
about rape. Rape culture is threaded too<br />
deeply within the fabric of our society to<br />
be ripped out overnight, but momentum<br />
has been building toward its removal for<br />
a long time now. Whenever we amplify<br />
victims’ voices and hold perpetrators<br />
accountable, we move one step closer to<br />
true personal liberation.<br />
<strong>Alice</strong> Spring 2018 53
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